Raised By Red and Black Clouds
by Xx-Silent Ookami-Xx
Summary: Sakura thrives to keep her secret hidden from everyone. Until eighteen years later, she departs without a single warning, steering her entire reputation off balance. Will she stay with Konoha or take her spot under the Akatsuki alliance?
1. Demon basket!

**Hello. I figured, coming back without redoing anything would be plain stupid. So I am going around checking my stories over one at a time and making sure to see if anything could be edited. Yeah, judging by it's two year history on here; it still needs some work.  
**

Raised By Red and Black Clouds

Chapter 1. Demon Basket

* * *

Wind picked up around the giant green bushes locked onto trees and the grounds mighty soil. Joining in the fun was a woman wearing a black cloak. She held onto a weaved basket in her petite hands with her dear life not wanting it to get taken from thieves. Contained within the basket were simple loaves of banana bread; but a cry from inside will tell you otherwise.

The woman traveled within the eye of the storm and froze when a strike of thunder ran past her from behind. Shaken by the sudden wave, she stopped near a giant cave blocked by a boulder that was suppose to be hiding something. She figured some people were living there when the boulder floated and made a loud sound each time it fell back into place. Said woman moved back the blanket and came across her wonderful infant daughter that was conceived by a monster. Time will pass slowly turning her into one her self.

For now she was just a normal human girl with the most greenest eyes her mother had ever seen. The adult quietly set her basket down and headed for the bushes. After the mother made her long departure, the child sensed it's mother's decreasing heat and began to let loose it's howls and screams.

"Waaaah!" cried a baby

Silence.

No one heard her. So she tried again.

"Waaaaaaaah!"

Annoyed by all the noise, a lone figure moved across it's room tripping over dead bodies and skulls formed during his deadly rituals.

He looked out from the window in the Akatsuki base. "OH MY FUCKING JASHIN!" he roared. "WHO THE FUCK SOUNDS LIKE THAT? SOUNDS LIKE A-"

Ding! Ding.. ding!

B-a-b-y. Which spells baby. Hidan's heat skipped a beat.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"WTF?" he cursed like a rabid texter.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!"

"That's too fucking lo-"

"Eawwhwhwhwhhwhaaaah!" it echoed like a car horn.

Tobi appeared out of nowhere to join in the fun. "Waahhsksajdsjahh!" he repeated even more stupid.

"Tobi Get the fuck away!" cursed the male as he swatted at Tobi like he was a bug.

"Waaaaaaaggghhh!"

"Ooh, did you get a bitch pregnant? I told you not to threaten her with Jashin." mocked Tobi with wag of his finger. Hidan grabbed it and tugged.

He ignored the masked man's screams and tended to his own business. The silver haired jashinist stormed out of his room out into the halls and found him self in the halls of the base. The only light which supported his stroll were a few candles placed up on the wall. Hidan followed it and ended up at the beginning of the cave and forced the rock outwards into the forest.

The Akatsuki member's purple eyes did not radiate off the sun like the usual days. He looked up and met a few angry clouds hanging above him. While remained staring out into the atmosphere, the same mewling from before enticed him.

"Where the hell is my scythe at a time like this?" he huffed.

"Sniff..sniff.. auuughh!"

"Better not by my dick crying from lack of spandex."

Said man looked down to confront the evil soul that plagued him only to scratch his head in confusion. Where was the being? Hidan struggled with his own demons on either to slice up the basket that kept howling and crying, or take it inside. The lone Akatuski stood out a little while longer and heard a faint whimpering from down below once more. His purple eyes traveled downwards towards the entrance of the Akatsuki base.

Oh joy. A giant basket filled with banana bread laid on the ground. It started to cry again. What the kami? Tobi came by to bother him and jumped away in fear screaming _'demon basket'._ How could it be? Just looked like a peace offering from Hoshigakure after burning down their church for misusing the word god. Hidan only snickered and bent down to steal the basket from off the ground and then slammed the boulder back in it's place.

The jashinist's stomach rumbled so he decided to try one. Hidan stuck his hand through the weaved basket picking out a good clean loaf of bread to eat and shit it out later. This usually happened like a repeating cycle of each food item he ate which were Oreo cookies, roast beef, string, pasta, bottle caps, etc. Even those ocean spray prunes bought from the store only to get shot out of his butt cheeks like a leaking faucet going over drive.

He flinched after hearing it cry once again."The fuck is up with this bread?.."

Hidan shrugged, maybe the damn village rigged it or something. Said male found him self in the kitchen and placed the basket soqn on the table then left eating the same loaf he had before in pure delight. Unknown to him, Deidara appeared out of nowhere from hiding secretly outside against the wall for camouflage so he wouldn't get hit. The blond swung out from his hiding spot and walked towards the bait. A silly evil expression claimed his face making him looking exactly like Elmer Fudd.

"Huck Huck Fuck, it's freaking banana season, un." he chuckled mischievously.

Deidara almost got his finger into the basket when something whisked past him. He rolled his eyes and resumed fishing for something to eat like a vending machine. Tobi watches behind his mask and points at the constructed holding mechanism like he saw the boogey man.

"B-b-bread. It's evil.." Tobi pointed out with anime tears flying out his eye socket. "In fact, I saw it levitate!"

"N-n-o i-it's not." Deidara repeats dumbly like a hill billy. "It's just dough." he adds, plopping a piece in his mouth.

"Noooo! Tobi think aliens came down from the sky with bread!" he cried.

"..." Deidara looked at Tobi thinking he was retarded.

"Waaaaaaaaah!" wailed the basket of bread.

"Demon basket!" preached Tobi.

"It's not a damn demon. I think theirs a baby inside it, un."

"That's what they want you to think." Tobi snorted. "In fact, I think the stark dropped off your baby just yesterday."

Thwack! He got hit by a sugar cane that came out of mid air only to end up in Deidara's hands. His eyes shown clouded judgement as the childish Akatsuki and passed out from the deadly impact. Acting upon his curiosity, Deidara moved some of the bread out the way to reveal a very small infant wrapped up in a blanket.

The infant's bright green eyes where filled with tears and her small red rosy cheeks were swollen from crying too much. Deidara stood their scratching his head in confusion. Where the hell did she come from? Tobi stopped screaming 'demon basket' in his sleep after getting up and realizing its true form, a baby.

A snot nosed vomit throwing cookie chocking baby.

Oh how Tobi was fooled to death thinking an alien brought her down from the sky.

Hidan came back shouting at them, "What the fuck are you two monkeys doing near my bread!"

"You." growled Deidara.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Without warning, Deidara slammed Hidan into a wall.

"Where did this baby come from, hmmm?" questioned Deidara.

"Baby? What baby?" Hidan asked all clueless, violet eyes darting from right from left. "I don't know what your freaking talking about.."

Deidara's voice raised to the highest peak it could go. "Don't fucking lie to me!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Hidan shot back at the Blond.

"Who leaves their own child in a basket filled with bread?"

"Mine? That thing isn't mine!"

"Thing? Oh so now you're calling her a thing?" Deidara was shocked at the jashinist's behavior on dealing with the infant.

"Listen Blondie! I didn't fucking know when or why there was a damn baby in the nasty looking bread!" shouted Hidan.

Deidara slowly took his hands off of Hidan. "I apologize for bothering you, un."

"Humph. Yeah, you better fucking recognize." he cursed with an ego boosting grunt.

"Ne,ne guys!" chirped Tobi from afar.

"What?"

"What the fuck?"

"I found a note in the banana bread." Tobi explained casualy. "It's adressed to someone in the base."

"Keh. What's it say? We apologize for sending you some nasty stale banana bread? Ha!" Joked Hidan.

"No. Tobi think it's for Pein."

* * *

"Who sent this?"

"We don't know." shrugged Deidara.

Deidara and co. were in leaders room with the basket and the mysterious note that came along with it. The ginger haired leader read the letter piece by piece and was silent with no comments. Hidan slouched in his chair remembering what Deidara did earlier during the day in the hall way.

What the fuck did he do that for anyways? He acted like he was put in a damn basket and was left on a bloody door step or something. Pein slammed the letter on the desk without a second thought only to see it floating in the air. The rest of the group watched Pein who was watching the annoying paper float, and float, for many mindless minutes getting nothing done until someones voice brought him back into reality.

"Bwagagahaahaa! Oh my fucking Jashin... your weak as hell!"

Pein sent Hidan a death glare which shut his punk ass up completely without any harm done to his over filled arrogant personality. Finished with reading the letter, said leader deactivates his kekkei genkai only to reveal clear green bluish eyes.

"Give me the child." Pein commands huskily.

"What for? You're not going to kill it are you?" asked Hidan.

"She's not an _it,_ un." mumbled Deidara.

"Shut up Blondie."

Konan, Pein's partner who was also in the room at the time, walked over to the desk. She picked the baby out from her holding chamber and handed her to him. Pein scanned over his sudden spawn. Since when does a child of his sport light pink hair? Oh wait, now he remembers.

Sudden images of that night plagued him mind.. Sake.. a red haired woman.. It all makes sense now. Pein's left eye ball twitches like mad after the memories flooded his brain. No, it couldn't be true. She was not his child! There's only one thing to do so Pein can tell really if she really belonged to him.

Pein reactivated the rinnegan near her small face. The infant stared back at him, at the silver ringed eyes, into his soul. Her own green eyes flickered into a rinnegan state then reversed back into its once delicate emerald orbs.

"Leave." demands the ginger tom. "I will study her further without an audience."

"What about me?"

"Except Konan."

"Yays!"

The thee henchmen bow to him respectfully and make an exit for the nearest escape route. Outside of Pein's door, Tobi, Deidara, and Hidan wandered over to the nearest wall to discuss the current situation at hand.

"Stupid Penis." muttered Hidan.

"Ew!" Whined Tobi.

"Well you know Pein, Penis?" joked Hidan.

"Shut up, un."

"Six paths of penis." mocked Hidan.

"Ew! Hidan-sama, quit plaguing Tobi-chan's mind!" he cried. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"I am not a bloody ass sama!"

Tobi walked away covering his ears with his hands trying to block out Hidan's previous rude and cruel dick jokes. After they left, Deidara leaned against the wall signing sadly to himself while looking out the window. Oh how Deidara wonders if Pein will get rid of the infant or keep her and raise the child him self. If he could recall, his own parents got rid of him by leaving Deidara in a cardboard box near an orphanage.

Now that is even more brutal then leaving her in some silly looking bread basket. No card, no blanket, no nothing. Just a big old moldy dirty germ infected cardboard box. Deidara took out clay from his pockets then quickly molded it into a dull but artistic butterfly. It left his mouth covered palmed hand by fluttering it's clay wings out the window into the gleaming sun.

"Fly away butterfly. Be free while I'm trapped in this mess, by myself.." he spoke, barely in a soft whisper.

**~Next day~**

It was nice and sunny morning in the dull area of the Akatsuki lair. Deidara was still sleeping so he could try and forget about what happened yesterday. Apparently his chances at peace were denied. Bang! Deidara groaned in his sleep. _Bang!_ He growled like a dog. Bang! What the fuck? Bang! Bang! Bang! This had to stop.

Deidara shot up ready to shout at the intruder that was ruining his, (Ha! Ha! Ha!) beauty sleep. Tobi marched around back and forth near the bed banging pots and pans like a concert. Except his audience did not want to attended. Deidara's eyebrows twitched in annoyance. Tobi continued chanting stupid things as he twirled about with a happy look on his silly face.

"Wakey! Wakey, Deidara-sempai!" he greeted. "Time to float around to bayou!"

"Grrrrr.." he growled like a rottweiler.

"Do you want some break-" Tobi paused and began all over again with something more idiotic than before "Oh. Why are you sweating with steam coming out of your ears?" asked a confused Tobi.

"TOBI! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! UN!" Deidara roared with his one blue eye closed shut.

Tobi flew out the room after getting kicked in the stomach by Deidara. His stupid self crashed into the wall causing an earthquake to move and shuffled throughout the entire house. It's steady movements awoke everybody up at the same time and also the most annoying house guest in the world.

You guessed it..

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" cried the baby.

"Oh great.." said Pein silently.

"WHO THE FUCK WOKE THE BABY?" Yelled Konan.

"Wasn't me bitch!" cursed Hidan.

"Waaaah!" cried the car horn.

"HIDAN! STOP CURSING IN FRONT OF THE BABY!" yelled Konan.

"Waaaah!" cried the kettle.

"It wasn't fucking me!"

Tobi looked out from his hole in the wall then joined in. "Waaaaaaah!" he wailed pittifuly. "Tobi-chan broke a nail!"

"Shut up Tobi!" shouted Deidara.

"Waaaaaah! Tobi head hurt!" he complained one more.

"Waaaah!" cried hell hath no fury.

"I'm glad that I don't have any children." entered Sasori bluntly.

"Sasori! You're going to help out too!" instructed Konan.

"No." he replied, with a bored expression on his face.

"Waaaaah!" the two babies cried.

"Then prepare to get your ass thrown outside then." threatened Konan.

"Go ahead. I don't have an ass. I'm just a puppet." smirked Sasori.

"Aha! aha! ha! Too bad I can't create nothing." laughed Kisame. "I'm just a sea creature."

"Shut up Kisame! You too!"

"Waaaaah!"

And so the trials of parenthood begins.

* * *

**~First breakfast with the baby~**

Everybody ran into the dinning room for breakfast. When they got there, numerous plates of scrumptious food were on the oak table. Glazed bacon, cheesy eggs, mostly golden brown toast with running butter on it. Huge blueberry muffins, orange juice, and even french toast.

This was going great. Said men could hardly contain them selves.

Until this happened. it was silent until..

One of them went, "Goo."

More silence took over the table.

Together, all the men twist their face in disgust and avert their eyes to the babiest members of the group; Tobi and Deidara.

"Noo! Tobi ain't go-"

"Goo goo blublu gaaahh.."

After that comment floated in their ears, they came to a sudden conclusion. An infant was let into the house yesterday. On instinct, they think of a ridiculous comment to say in their dirty minds_, 'Who the hell let the baby in here?'_ thought the cave men. Speaking of babies, she wasn't secured in one of those special seats used to prevent them from losing their balance and falling down to crack their head open. Even though the Akatsuki loved to spill blood, hers wasn't on the list.

The baby was at the table sitting on a chair with a white bib fasted around her small little neck. No one can see her small little head. all the saw was her green eyes. A plate of bacon and eggs was about twenty feet above her face. She was crying a little bit trying to get the bacon off her plate. Konan looked at the table with a 'WTF' expression on her face.

Hidan looked up at her with bacon in his mouth. "What?" he mumbled at mid chew.

"Stupid! Where's her high chair?"

"Oh hell no! She's not a queen!"

"..." Konan had a grim look on her face and muttered, "Stupid idiots..." under her breath.

"I told him about the high chair." commented Pein out of the blue.

She makes a face then points her index finger at him, "And you! What kind of father are you?"

"A bad one." admitted Pein.

"Of course! Sasori."

"What?"

"Go build a high chair please."

"I'm not a construction worker Konan."

"Oooh, what the hell is wrong with this place?" struggled Konan angrily.

"I don't know. Pass the eggs." Pein instructed, magicaly changing the subject.

Konan left out the dining room and came back in with a nice big purple cushion for the baby. She took the infant in one hand, and placed down the cushion with her right. Once it was settled on the seat, the female member put down the baby on her new seat. luckily it adjusted her height. The baby spotted a muffin across from Deidara who was sitting right next to her. Her small hands reached over to get it, but the muffin was too far away for her to reach it.

Deidara smiled then slowly handed her the muffin off his plate._ Smack!_ Konan swatted the muffin out of Deidara's hand. It landed on the floor causing the small baby to cry once again.

"What did you do that for? I was only giving her a muffin!"

"Babies can't eat muffins!" she hissed.

"Why?" asked Tobi.

"Cause they ain't got no teeth." answered Hidan.

"Shut up." she mumbled.

"Infants either drink formula or eat mashed foods." informed Sasori.

"What's formula?" asked Tobi again.

"Milk." spoke Pein.

"Your a female. Give her your titi milk." suggested Hidan.

"No! I'm not a whale!" Konan screeched.

"Yes you are. When you're bloated." mumbled Hidan.

"Errr..." she growled. "This is going nowhere."

Hack, hack, hack. Some one was bringing up their food. Particularly a certain loli pop.

"Tobi, what are you doing?" Konan asked patiently.

"Mashing up my food for the baby."

"She's not a fucking bird! Damn your dumb!" shouted Hidan.

"I'm stuck with idiots." huffed Konan.

"Ditto." commented Sasori and Pein.

"I hate this place." muttered Kisame.

* * *

**Eek! I never thought I would be coming back to redo this. After getting a review that said my story was a little confusing for them to read, I had to do something! In fact I even changed the title. To me the previous one looked stupid. Anyways, read and review if you want. I don't mind extras. Bye.**

**Finished product: 9/01/11**

**Uploaded: Today! ^^**


	2. Terrible moments!

Tobi appears through a hole in the sky. His stupid self is holding a microphone.

_**Tobi:** Whhhhhheeeeen I,_

_(When I) had you,_

_I treated you bad_

_and so wrong my dear_

_and since--_

**Deidara**: This isn't the Jackson 5!

**Damn. I miss Micheal, but I at least got his CD. It's been about a week since I updated this hasn't it? Well back to the story.**

Messed up chibi life

Chapter 2 Terrible moments!

* * *

The small infant was locked up in a room. Konan debated thousands of times to let her out but Pein wouldn't budge. He thought he was protecting her from the deadly rays of sunshine. As the baby kicked her feet i the air blowing bubbles with her mouth, Tobi popped in through a hole in the wall.

"Hi baby!!" he shouted happily.

Silence.

The baby stared at him with a 'WTF' look on her face. Tobi stared back with the sharingan spinning. The bubbles popped as she stared at him. Tobi leaned closer grinning madly closing the small gap in between them. The little baby moved back into her crib trying to get away from Tobi with a frightened look on her face.

"HI BABY!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Whats wrong baby?!"

"TOBI! GET AWAY FROM SAKURA!" roared Konan.

"Sakura?! That's a girl's name!" shouted Hidan.

"NO DUH!" she hollered back at him.

"I thought she was a boy." he thought stupidly.

"You're dumb, un." pointed out Deidara bluntly.

"STFU! I bought all these boys clothes for nothing."

Silence..

"SINCE WHEN DO BOYS HAVE PINK HAIR?!" questioned/yelled Konan.

"I don't fucking know!" answered Hidan.

**~Dooky~**

Tobi still didn't leave away from Sakura's breathing space. Sakura was terrified of him. His stupid swirling orange mask, stupid retarded grin and glowing vampire like eyes! The baby decided she had enough of his stupid face then powerfully kicked him in the nuts. With a short girlish scream, Tobi fell to the floor. He moved around like a rabid coyote but stopped after hearing the baby giggle. A shadow loomed over him.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Pein sama! Sakura kicked me!"

"Oh yes. She defiantly came from my sperm." chuckled Pein evilly.

"Sperm? I thought babies came from the pussy?" questioned Tobi with a stupid expression on his face.

"Well you don't know the full story yet Tobi. Before the baby grows into the stage of development in the womb, our sperm get's put into the--"

Ew. Something nasty was in the room. Pein's whole face scrunched up in annoyance as his nose took in the scent. Tobi started jumping around on the floor then crashed into Sakura's crib. The baby flew up into the air like Peter Pan. Pein grabbed Sakura from the nasty dust inhabited room. He was about to put her back in the crib when he smelt that nasty smell again.

"What is this strange smell?"

Pein brought Sakura's small body closer. Each inch he pushed her towards his nose the smell got worse, and worse. Pein shook her up and down trying to detect the smell. Getting warmer, he paused at her little rump. Bingo! Pein disgustingly moved his head away from the baby.

"Dooky!" announced Tobi as he fanned the air.

"Tobi. Go get Konan."

"Konan chan left to the store to buy more things for Sakura chan."

"Shit."

"What's wrong? Can't you do it?"

"No."

Hidan appeared through the door. "Hey every--AUUUUGH! WTF?!"

Then he left the room.

"Stinky doo doo!" cried Tobi.

"Shush Tobi. Let's hurry up before Konan comes back to give her away to child services if I don't change her diaper."

* * *

**~Dooky part two~**

Sakura was on the table in the kitchen. Sasori, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi, Hidan and Pein surrounded the table. The infant moved away like a caterpillar away from her father's strong grasp. Tobi put a blindfold over her small head. **Smack!** Tobi got whipped up against his stupid big pumpkin head.

"Waaah! Why you hit Tobi?!"

"Because. You act like were going to rape her." growled Kisame.

"We can't, she's just a baby." admitted Deidara.

"Yeah but when she get's older, like about four, then we can--" hinted Hidan.

"Shut up." hissed Pein.

"Dummy. Did you forget that Pein's standing right next to us?" whispered Kisame to Hidan

"No." joked Sasori.

Pein slowly removed the yellow things that held up the diaper. Everyone yelled and hollered in pure horror. There was a big brown blob of doo doo in the diaper. The 'brown garbage' which was what Sasori called it, was all over her umm, private area.

"What do we do know, un?"

"Don't know." answered Pein as he scratched his ginger flamed head.

"What the hell kind of father are you?!" shouted Hidan.

"A bad one."

"Ok, well since we create our own brown garbage, cleaning hers shouldn't be a problem." said Sasori.

"Yes it is! Tobi think her's is a lot worse!" complained Tobi.

"Well if Konan didn't feed her mashed bananas all day there woudn't be this much shit."

"Fine. First we need the baby wipes."

"We ran out." called Kisame.

Silence..

"What?" he asked.

"Go get Tobi's towel." instructed Pein.

"NOOO! TOBI USE THAT TOWEL!" whined Tobi pitifuly.

~Five minutes later~

"You m-meanies.."

Tobi's nice clean blue towel was no more. Instead now it was a leafy nasty green towel. Tobi cautiously picked up his tower them tossed it into a trash can. The rest of the Akatsuki laughed at him while he cried a river of anime tears. Pein was about to reveal the next step when he caught Deidara and Hidan staring at her, umm, private area.

**Smack!**

"Ow! WTF?!" cursed Hidan.

"Stop staring."

"I can't help it. It looks so small, and annoying." mumbled Deidara.

"And when she gets older I'm going to ram my co--" hinted Hidan.

**Smack!**

"Ow! WTF?!" he cursed agian.

"Second, diaper."

"We ran out of diapers." admitted Kisame.

Silence..

"What?"

"How many things did we run out of?" asked Pein.

"Everything." recited Kisame.

* * *

**~Two hours later~**

"I'm back!"

Silence...

"Ok. What the hell is up with all the silence?" she cursed with a confused look on her face.

Konan strolled over with the bag of groceries towards Pein's office. Inside all of the lights were turned off except Pein's glowing rinnegan. Konan cursed under her breath, why the hell did he turn off all the lights. Konan put all the groceries down on the floor to speak to Pein.

"Nagato. Why are all the lights turned off?"

"Nothing." he answered innocently.

"Achoo!"

Sakura just sneezed cutely. Tired of playing games, Konan turned on the lights. She smiled a warm smile seeing Sakura sitting on Pein's lap engulfed in his warm cloak. Wait, something wasn't right here. Konan marched forward in a deadly aura. She removed the cloak.

"NAGATO!"

"What?"

* * *

**~Later~**

"You fools there was an emergency baby bag in the closet down the hall."

"Thanks a lot Kisame." growled Deidara.

"What? I didn't know." shrugged the fish man.

"Since you didn't bother to clean her correctly, I'm giving her a bath."

"Nooo! Let Tobi do it! Tobi good boy!"

"Forget Tobi, un. Let me do it!"

"Shut up! I'm not letting you imps touch her!" shouted Konan.

**~Deadly pedo bath of doom~**

Konan just put Sakura down for a bubble bath. She left to go retrieve some bath toys for her. The blue haired female Akatsuki member walked towards the sliding bath door. Wait, something wasn't right, '_again'_. Ever since Sakura appeared early in the morning, Konan had a horrible case of the bitchy wolf mother syndrome. If Nagato would ever get the father's intuition sense too, then it would be like having a little family or something.

"Yeah right. In your dreams Konan." she muttered.

Konan moved the sliding bath door to see a horrible sight.

"AUUUUUGHH!" she screamed in horor.

Hidan was in the tub farting away messing up the pink bubbles that took over the bath. Where did Sakura go? Konan screamed when she heard faint gurgling coming from the edge of the bath tub. She was about to save Sakura but Hidan got to her first. The little baby giggled as she got picked up by Hidan.

"What the fuck? Go away!" he cursed at Konan.

"Get your big gorilla butt out the bath!"

"No! I didn't have my bath yet!"

"So. Go do it in a shower. Give me Sakura."

"Why? She's enjoying it isn't she?"

Konan took Sakura away from Hidan putting her in a nice fluffy towel. The bitch tapped her foot on the tiled floor waiting for Hidan to get out. Hidan muttered a couple of curse words as he stuck his giant foot out on to the floor. Konan screamed again. Hidan's big cock was swaying as he walked out towards the sliding door.

"AND GO PUT A TOWEL ON!" she shouted.

"HELL NO! I CAN PARADE IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT ANY TIME I GODDAMN PLEASE!"

"Stupid Hidan. Ok let's finish your bath."

Konan looked at Sakura to see if she agreed with her. Konan rolled her eyes, Sakura's eyes were big. It seemed like she enjoyed the peep show that was waking down the halls. Deciding she had enough of the abnormal settings, konan blocked Sakura's eyes with her hand.

"You better not choose old people to fuck with in the future."

**~Bed~**

Sakura was tired. Her small head limped and moved as she was sitting on Pein's lap agian. He was finishing a couple of documents trying to igore his tiredness as well. To keep awake he challenged Sakura to a staring contest. He gently picked her up then layed his child on the desk. Pein slowly moved his head down to her level with the rinnegan deactivated.

"Ok little one, let's play a game."

The child yawned.

"Stop that."

He yawned back.

Her eyes were dropping.

"Stop.. destroying... my.. methods... I.. am.. god..." he mumbled carelessly.

His eyes were dropping too.

The small child's fingers touched his nose almost cracking it.

"Damn you're strong." he smiled.

**Bang!**

"TOBI GOOD BOY!" he chirped.

"Waaaaaaaaahhh!"

"Stupid Tobi. Go away."

"No wait Pein sama! Zetsu spotted Orochimaru nearby!" informed Tobi.

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

Pein got up from his chair then left the room leaving Sakura all alone. Tobi looked back at the crying baby, Pein fogot to soothe her. Thinking his job was to do it, Tobi moved over to her side with the sharingan blazing again. Sakura stopped wailing to see the red ruby black specks spin like a pin wheel.

"Good evening annoying spawn of Nagato. My name is Madara."

The baby nodded in understanding then slowly fell asleep in a hypnotic way. Madara moved towards the door but when right back to Sakura's side.

"I shall protect you while Nagato is away."

_End of chapter two_...

**JuubiNoOkami:** Braaaa! Here comes Orochimaru. Since many stories have Sakura raised by the Akatsuki fics then countinoulsly fast forward without any action or battles, mine has a twist to it. Please read and review to figure out what happens next!


	3. Contagious Giggles

**Hiya yall! Been a while hasn't it? I know, two chapters just don't cut it anymore. But damn, about 40 reviews for just two chapters? That's crazy! It went up way faster then 'Hoshi No Kitsune Stuck with bakas'. I really like this chapter cause it's kind of funny till the end that might shock you. I'm not suffering from writers block anymore! My bad for not updating..**

Messed Up Chibi life

chapter three: Contagious Giggles

Loud foot steps ran through the base searching for a very dangerous person. This person, which will now be called pathetic leech that left the Akatsuki for stupid unknown reasons shall be killed today. Not tomorrow, not Tuesday, not next year, now you hear me? NOW! NOW!

If even just one of the Akatsuki members take any critical damage from this lying diabolical chicken finger eating fiend, the deed will be done for a terrible butt whopin. Nor shall a finger nail be clipped, an eye ball poked with a kunai, not even a snow ball chucked at people's heads. The group of traveling feet split up into three man teams to take on the deadly mission at hand.

"Aww dammit." cursed Hidan.

"What?"

"We got stuck with the girlie blond man." he hissed in anger.

"Shut up, un." Deidara scowled.

Yes indeed, the jashinist, clay bomber and weasel sama were all together forming a very deadly team not to fuck around with. Kisame, Sasori and Kakuzu left down the southern path leaving them all alone to fend for themselves in the harsh cold hollow winter like hall ways. Deidara did not like the fact of dealing with the loud mouth and pretty boy that's name meant weasel.

Not by a long shot. Said Blondie shivered at the thought of Itachi being prettier than him. He was a sex icon for cripes sake! Doesn't anybody know about all the fan art and slide shows put up on you tube were about him? As Deidara learned near a wall, something creepy crawly was sitting in his hair.

Deidara swatted at the creature and twirled around like a drunk ballerina on crack.

"Oi, Blondie. Stop dancing and follow us." called out a voice from around the corner.

Deidara ignored the jokes and hastily caught up to the disastrous combination. He knew the team will fall apart and kill each other in just a few minutes tops or maybe just a few seconds. Judging by Hidan's obnoxious ways it was about to go off any moment now.

"I'm fucking hungry." cursed the giant.

"There's no time to eat. We need to find Orochimaru." spoke Itachi as he changed the subject.

All three of them stopped walking and stood standing in the middle hallways with a confused look on their three faces.

"Wait a minute. How did you get here Itachi?" asked Deidara suspiciously.

Itachi paused in his foot steps. "I don't know. Blame the author."

After that short statement Itachi traveled forward leaving Hidan and Deidara behind along with some dust. The two males looked at each other then shrugged and quickly tried to catch up on their new squadron leader, Weasel sama.

**~ Somewhere else down south ~**

White eyes lighted up the darkness where it stood near a corner cautiously looking around for any intruders. It's full body came into view turning into a colossal blue eyed man with gills wearing a black cloak with red clouds. His new partner, kind of short with red messy hair and a puppet like appearance kept guard along with him.

"You see him anywhere?"

"Naw, nothing but darkness."

Sasori was right, there was nothing but darkness down this hollow long hallway created in the base. No one ever been down this way before which made trekking around here much difficult than the other hall ways combined. His hazel eyes traveled around the area and got fed up with all the nonexistent path ways usually lit up by torches and some open nearby windows.

"I hate this place. It reminds me of the grudge."

"The grudge eh? Reminds me the time I saw Itachi naked with his body bent in half waving his black hair around like the Sahara bitch."

"Yuck, no reminder of that Kisame. I don't want that shit taking over my mind, titties and ass are the way of life."

"Ditto." agreed Sasori.

Kisame stopped walking after hearing something slithering on the ground. "What was that?"

"I don't know. It defiantly wasn't my puppets."

Crash! Sasori and Kisame jumped as a loud sound went off right near them. Said puppet pulled back on his own creations trying to repel any attacks that was about to hit them head on. But there wasn't any, all he felt was blue string.

"Their gone." he said in monotone.

Suddenly, something walking down the halls made it's appearance making a strange choking sound. Kisame and Sasori hollered a girlish scream like Madonna and ran like hell. When Sasori ran the corner he was thrown back and looked down on his foot notching one of his chakra strings were still tided down near his legs.

Kisame stopped running and went back shouting, "get that shit off your leg and run!"

Sasori regained his cool and ripped the strings off his leg then retreated near Kisame who his behind the door. "Wheres Kakuzu?"

"Nani? I thought he was with you."

"Shit."

XxxX

"Them idiots, all leaving me and crap." he mumbled unaware that the grudge was nearby.

it was dancing on the ground like a upside down roach that got sprayed by febreeze and left the area freaking Kakuzu out. Said money man hollered like a monkey when it came up in his face looking like a freak accident. He made a break for it back where Kisame and Sasori were hiding out hoping to dodge upcoming fright fests.

Kisame freaked as Kakuzu was running up to them shouting, "what the hell are you doing? Go back! Go back!" the fish shrieked.

"In your dreams fish sticks, Sasori help us out will ya?"

"On it."

Sasori threw out some blue chakra string thingies and held the grudge up by it's hands and legs. Sasori struggled keeping it from flying about in the air and ripping his chakra source away from contact. Kakuzu kept watching the event take place in the halls they walk in and thought up a wonderful idea that no one else thought up of

a flashlight.

Since that damn piece of shit was a ghost, light will be more effective on it then raccoons escaping from a meat farm. Said money man rattled about in his pockets and took out a white item and turned it on wielding the mighty beam of light. It poked through the grudge that sang on of it's ear sore pitiful songs of death wailing like a crow and stopped engaging in on a choking sequence..

"Cough, cough, hackk hackk!" and spat out a white hair ball.

Said Akatsuki watched the hair ball fall to the floor with a raised eye brown on their annoyed faces.

"Eww, that's fucking nasty. I knew that you was Chinese! Only they eat cats!"

"Wrong sailor mouth, the grudge is a Japanese film." corrected Sasori.

"Oh."

"I wonder why I didn't bring my puppets along with me."

"Serves you right. That's what you get for walking them around like their all puppies on leashes. Probably left after getting abused and handled by you all the damn time." Kisame said sarcastically while looking around.

"I am not a pedobear." he scowled with a frown at the comment.

On cue more slithering and what was made out to be some hissing hit the fish man relentlessly. He unsheathed Samehada and got ready to fight what was ever coming in their direction. The mysterious snake trio forced their way through the air only to get blocked by the long sword.

"Oh no you don't. I'm not letting you pass, snake." Kisame announced on the creature's arrival.

Samehada stole some chakra from the snake's body.** "Oh yes, gimme your energy punk!"** it slurred.

Said snake fell to the floor and left the scene in a puff of smoke ending the battle very quickly. Kakuzu moved passed them and the Sasori who slithered away sounding exactly like Orochimaru's snakes and got swung at by Kisame's huge sword.

"Cut it out Shamu, I'm not the enemy."

"Oh hell no! I'm not a fucking female! Does it look like I have breasts and suffer from menopause?" questioned the shark man.

"How can I tell if I can't see you?" Sasori asked dryly. "And besides, maybe you do suffer from menopause." he smirked.

Kisame shook his head and changed courses heading towards a source of beaming yellow sunshine that was lighting the way.

o0oOMGFWAAAPUWUHHH!o0o

Amber burning candles stood on a table containing the only source of light keeping darkness at bay. It was kept away from a crib that held a small infant with light pink hair and green eyes. Her recent place was moved away from the table to such a warm place to set your sleepy head down and drift away into cloudy lifeless dreams.

Some one that was wearing a mask with a glowing red right eye was cautiously standing near the door waiting for somebody.

"What's taking so long?" moaned a voice.

"Shut up and stand here until Nagato comes back."

"But Ma-kun, I need to go to the bath room." whined Tobi.

"Gah, I can't stand you! Why the fuck am I stored away inside of you anyways?"

"I don't know but I need to release something else right now."

Oh how Madara couldn't take useless Tobi's whine and complaining any longer. They were like Zetsu, half half with different personalities minus the face. Tobi smiles, Madara does not, Tobi laughs, Madara kun does not. Tobi talks like a five year old, Madara acts like a sophisticated britsh fish and chips man with a sugar cane stuck up his ass.

The two nitwits kind of sound like a double edged sword almost.

The door slammed open revealing a very angry looking Nagato. Konan was by his side holding a purple statue in her petite hands which Madara was watching very cautiously. He cleared his throat and prepared for a touch conversation to execute since all the members are needed when extracting and sealing a bijuu within themselves.

"What are you doing with that Nagato?"

"After battling with Orochimaru, we may need some back up in the future."

"Of course, which is why we have Itachi in the group, and Deidara.." he trailed while counting the members on his fingers.

"No, we need a trump card. Bring me the baby." he ordered.

"But why? What your about to do is seal a beast within your own baby. That's sick." he said in a disgusted way.

"She's not mine. Look, it wasn't easy debating this with Konan and I don't need your concerns either."

"Fine, as you wish Nagato." he signed.

Tobi strolled away and took the baby away from Konan who was holding onto the baby for her dear life. He struggled ripping the child out of her hands for a few seconds and succeeded the gave Sakura away. Konan stormed out the room with tears in her eyes because she didn't want to see this and never came back again.

"You know what your doing right?" asked a silent Madara.

"It's for the best. Let's go."

Madara followed Nagato out of his studies and walked down the hall ignoring the sad gaze coming from all the Akatsuki members. Deidara was looking out the window, Hidan and Kakuzu were cursing at Nagato for his decision, Itachi was staring at the wall, Sasori was sobbing in his portable puppet and Kisame was frowning in confusion.

There was no going back when they reached the room and slammed the door shut.

**Done with chapter three. Yeah, this seems like an emotional twist to this story so don't fret guys. I'm still figuring out which one to give her or just make it up right off the bat. You can give me some suggestions if you like. Anyways, read and review. Bye.**


	4. A new pet

**Oh my god, sixty one reviews already? I would like to thank all the people that have stuck by and kept reading even though I never update that much. But it looks like this story is almost catching up with Hoshi, not! I like updating that fic more than this once because after all it was my first story and I would like to finish it. There's going to be an announcement made in chapter five, look out for it.**

**Messed Up Chibi life**

chapter four: A new pet

Five years have passed since Orochimaru's destruction in the Akaksuki hide out. It took everyone a very long time to recover and replace all the torn down plants and paintings. Sakura, now a five year old, has flourished into an annoying specimen with some sort of special case inside of her. today she was walking around in a black long sleeved shirt with khaki shorts.

Her small body was brittle compared to the others, so she was only allowed outside for thirty minutes. What a perfect opportunity to go out of the based covered boulder and play? Sakura sprinted across the hall ways passing the other member's doors and was about near the boulder entrance when a pair of strong arms scooped the girl up from off the ground.

"Hey, what gives?" she questioned in anger.

"What are you doing?"

"Going outside to play." she answered sweetly hoping that he will put her down.

But he didn't and proceeded back down the halls with a bitter Sakura in his arms. She began flailing about like a carp and burrowed into the mans cloak like a squirrel making him halt in his tracks. Said man pulled the five year old out of his jacket and pulled her against his face like a magnet. she stared into his swirly eyes and mimicked his own ghostly stare with her own.

"Play..." she trailed in a hypnotic gaze.

Nagato ignored the girl's foolishness and cupped the girls mouth with his hands, "If I buy you a pet will you be good?"

Said ginger headed male watched her head bob up and down in agreement and he released his hand from the child then placed her back down on the ground. He looked around on the floor and found one of her toys on the ground which he told her to pick up thousands of times before. Said man reached for the rabbit and handed it too her and walked outside through the base into the morning sun light.

Sakura waited patiently for her new friend, she hoped it was white and fluffy just like her plush. Said girls girly imagination broke in half when loud barking and slashing at the skin echoed through the cave. Sakura covered her ears with her hands, the sound was too much.

Fifteen minutes passed and the sounds quieted down except the boulder that was put back in it's place.

A few more minutes went by when the boulder was lifted up once again and placed back in a quite manner. Sakura's green orbs beamed in delight when Nagato walked in the base with a white bunny rabbit in his right hand. He knelled down and handed her the animal and came back up heading for the studies and slammed the door behind him.

Sakura was left behind hugging and squeezing life out of it until it died from her monstrous strength.

She looked down at the passed out creature and went, "Mr. cotton?"

Konan ran out after hearing the child whimper and throw some water works on the floor. She picked the girl up and began soothing until Pein came out of the studies room with a mute look on his face.

"What happened?"

"The rabbit died."

"Great, I give her a pet and she kills it."

"Nagato! Don't act so grumpy about it."

"I know but, what about her safety? If we let her out again she'll get kidnapped. After all, were still bad people."

"Oh hush, she doesn't think of us that way."

"Of course the brat won't think like that, were her adoptive parents."

Sakura heard that word and her eyes snapped open. "What's adoptive?" she chirped.

"Umm.. Well Sakura chan its.." Konan trailed hoping not to answer her question.

He beat her to the punch. "Nothing, go back to bed."

"I can't. Okaa san isn't my bed."

"Yes, it's down the halls."

"Can I have another pet?"

Nagato breathed in and out with a strain on his voice box and went, "Sure, tomorrow. I promise."

**#~The next day~#**

Nagato was busy sleeping in his bed with the black covered sheets on it. he was dreaming about taking over the world. All the people died and surrendered their sanity and gave him all the beasts he was suppose to acquire. Suddenly, the dream goes sour when he pictures Sakura going off with this boy after getting pregnant by him.

"Damn you.." he yawned.

Said dream went into another faze revealing a very particular wedding with a winter theme took place and all the Akatsuki members were there in their regular attire and red bows around each person's collar. Nagato cringed as his self came into view walking his adoptive daughter down the aisle heading for the altar with a smile on his face.

A smile? Since when does Nagato the chosen one smile?

Maybe for death, but not for marrying his child out to some sleazy douche bag. Wait, a minute, who is this douche bag that were speaking of pecking her on the cheek? Angered by this nasty disrespectful genre of this fellow nightmare, Nagato began choking the brides husband and got tears forming from his older child's cheeks.

She looked him in the eyes with her hands folded over her chin and said, "Daddy, wheres my pet?"

"H-huh?" he yawned into the sheets.

"Where is my doggie?" she wept while jumping up and down on the bed.

Nagato felt like he was swimming in a wave of covers when the shaking created loud earthquake like bounces. She was too much for him, and she knew it well. Tired of all this bouncing, his arms shout out from the waves and caught Sakura in mid air. He put her down on the floor and borrowed back in the covers which made her very restless.

"I wanna another rabbit." the girl pouted.

"No. You'll just give them another death hug like last time." he mumbled.

"How about a dog?" she suggested and began batting her eye lashes at him.

Said swirly eyed man stared her dead in the eyes and she did the exact same thing. Realizing this wasn't going to do a damn thing, he got up out of bed and slipped into a pair of orange slippers and dropped her outside near the door.

Sakura heard a loud closing sound and folded her arms in her chest pouting, "I want a dog."

"Later. Let me get dressed first."

"Ok." she nodded. "Bye bye!" and left the door way.

o00o

"Nagato, what are you doin- Ew! Get that out of here!"

"What?"

Said leader was busy near the counter that had a container filled with a giant spider in it. Konan was freaking out throwing things at it only getting caught by Nagato's swift hands. He put the kunais down on the counter and went on his way looking for some spider food until Hidan and Sakura came from around the corner with a hungry look on their faces.

"Mm, I'm fucking hu-"

"Ew."

He stopped talking after realizing that he was lifting up a spider in the container. "Oh shit! This ain't cookies!" and tossed the open container.

Sakura watched in terror as the giant walking hair ball crashed onto the floor and scurried away down the halls. "Spider gone."

Hidan looked at the girl than back at the container and ran like hell down the hall way. "I gotta see this, come on!" he called out a the girl.

She followed the older man and kept a look out for anything hairy with eight legs parading about on the floor. Sakura kept her distance from darkened areas hoping that it wasn't resting their and heard a loud girlish scream coming from the right.

Hidan put his hand next to his ears and listened, "That sounds a lot like Deidara." he informed Sakura. "Heh, this is gonna be good."

Someone came running down the halls with a giant tarantula on thier face and zoomed past them heading for the kitchen. Hidan's eyes widened and began chucking up a storm at the discovery and Sakura out her hands over her mouth in surprise. The two raced over the kitchen and came across the screaming actress who was holding a pan up against his face.

"Don't you two just stand there, help me!"

"What for? It seems to be mistaking you for it's wife girlie."

"I'm not a girl, un!"

"Wait a minute, I'm acting a little 'oc' for my own good." he realized at the last comments. "I better brace my self." ad swung hard against his face.

"Shit, I forgot the-" the rinnegan user stared Deidara dead in the face and backed up slowly and ended up in a corner of the door frame.

"Sakura. Attack." he commanded.

the small child looked at her father and tilted her head to the side like a puppy. "Why? There's an ugly spider on his face!" she cried.

"I told you, that's his wife." Hidan joked with a hinted gesture.

"How the hell can this thing be my wife you two timing sleazy bitch?" Deidara snapped.

"See? They fuckin belong together!"

Thinking of this as a distraction, Nagato came out from the door way and made his way over to the clay bomber and began slapping Deidara in the face. The blows kept hitting him like a wet towel sending the tarantula flying off his face into the air and Nagato caught it with an open jar. He put the spider back on the counter and left the scene with an annoyed look on his face.

"Ooh, he caught the shitty ass spider."

"Gosh, you ain't do a damn thing to help me."

"Me? Help you? I would rather help a dog find it's tail then help your sorry ass out."

"Humph, some friend you are."

Not knowing where this conversation was going, Sakura got out the kitchen and searched helplessly for her father and came across him lifting the boulder up ready for departure.

He stopped carrying the thing around in the air when his cloak was being yanked from below. "What is it?"

"Doggie."

"Shit I forgot."

"What's shit?" she questioned.

"N-nothing Sakura chan."

"Ok!" she chirped and walked away down the hall repeating the word in a melodious tune. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"Nagato! What word did you teach Sakura?"

"Shit."

**#~Back in the kitchen~#**

Tobi appeared out of nowhere with a stupid look on his face and walked near the counter. "Mm, raisins."

"Those aren't fuckin ra-" and got covered by Deidara's mouthed hands.

"Shush, this is gonna be good." the clay bomber smirked in mischief.

The two watched in great union and got greeted with a masked wearing fool devouring a five foot spider.

Should I really explain?

o00o

Sakura was busy having fun in the living room with no living things in it except rocks, dirt, and bugs everywhere until a looming orange blob came into view. It was moving closer and closer stopping at her head taking the form of a tall lean ginger haired male that was suppose to be her father.

"Here is your pet." he spoke in boredom knowing that he was going to regret this later.

The pinket watched in terror as a small dog fell on the floor with a bloody wound on it's stomach. She knelled down next to it with a scared look on her face and pressed her hands on it's dirty fur. Pushing some blood aside it's fur was fur was pure white and held a shiny tint to it.

A hard glare went through it's blue icy eyes as it breathed heavily gasping for air.

_'W-what happened? First I was with my mother, than this human came out of nowhere and attacked us.'_

"Don't worry little puppy, I'll care for you from now on." she whispered in it's ears and gave the dog a hug.

From far away, Pein and Konan were discussing the matter in their own hands.

"What the hell did you give her a wolf for? Their wild, and they have rabies and.." she stumbled on what to say next.

"Oh hush, it's just a puppy. It'll listen to her."

"Yeah right, soon it'll eat her face."

"Besides, she needs it for later."

"You mean?..." she questioned in awe.

"Exactly."

The couple looked on enjoying the fact that Sakura was having a great time playing fetch with her new puppy and having a grand time. Even though it was of a non domesticated species, it seemed to fit in with the Akatsuki very well. Couple weeks passed and the group wasn't doing very well trying to meet up with the demands of playing a substitute wolf family.

It broke and bit into everything causing havoc, epically leaving hurling chunk presents every where. The first time it did that Konan had to disinfect the whole entire room and beg Sasori to build another, which he did not want to do. The wolf already knew basic commands like sit, come, roll over and a new difficult one like fetch the kunai.

Sakura practiced the trick thousands of times until one day on the use of the trick instead of a kunai it brought back Hidan's head.

Maybe in the future it will prove to be some sort of usefulness in and out of the base.

"What the fuck man? It took my emblem! Jashin will curse the bloody hell out of ya for that!"

Maybe..

**I'm alive! Now about this chapter, it hinted a sequel. Shit, I gave away the announcement for chapter five. Oh well. ^^ I wanna start more stories but I think I have too much, well darn it. I have plans for this story and it will be used for future references. **

**By the way, only a couple more chapters to go and Hoshi no kitsunes: stuck with bakas is also about to end too. You can review what you thought about chapter four if you like and sit tight for the next update. Bye and have a nice afternoon.**


	5. We will miss you

**A/N: **Hello, as you can tell, there is no announcement that was being made in the last chapter. Reason why? I canceled it! As a reward for waiting so much another chapter was created just for you. By the way, I changed the title to something else that fitted the plot. That's enough notes, I guess...

Chapter Five: We will miss you

Sakura was in her room drowning out all the yelling and screaming done by her parents in the main conference room. They sounded angry and confused which was exactly what the girl was feeling. Her small hands slowly tossed a ball across the room so her new puppy could catch it. The pup sprang forward running on all fours towards the end of the room.

It came back and dropped the yellow ball then rolled over on the ground showing it's stomach waiting to be petted. Sakura didn't bother to reward the wolf making it whine in shame and walk over near the shadowed corner in loneliness.

She signed deeply and brought her knees up to her chest and waited patiently for her family to stop fighting and be peaceful just like old times. Bothered by all this noise, she picked her self up from off the floor and crawled into bed hoping that all the banter will decrease. A few hours past and the hall ways were silent and the girl was sleeping on the bed oblivious to what was about to happen.

The door slowly creaked open alerting the pup and it growled furiously when the mysterious person moved closer near Sakura's sleeping form. He brought his index finger closer to his lips and shushed the dog. It stared at him then began barking furiously when the man quietly lifted Sakura off the bed.

She felt the warmth decreasing off her body as if someone has removed her from bed. Her eyes fluttered open and the girl screamed in fear when her mouth was blocked by the burglars palm.

"Scream one more time and I'll kill you."

Sakura remained quiet and looked all over the place searching for some one to save her. A moment of surprise surged through her mind when a small object came from under the bed and head butted the stranger. The pinkette chose this as a moment to escape and wiggled her way out of the man's arms dropping to the floor.

Angry, the man knocked the pup out with his fists and scooped the girl up then escaped through the open window. Later on Pein made his daily rounds around the base checking up on his members making sure nothing was out of place and made one more travel near one area; Sakura's room.

He opened the door and found no one inside, not even the wolf.

Agitated, the orange haired man sucked his teeth and closed the door then quickly speed off into the main room. There his allies and Konan were playing cards and drinking green tea.

"You seen Sakura anywhere?" He asked and watched them shake their heads.

Konan looked up from drinking her tea and watched her partner rush out of the kitchen. Curious she got up from her seat and followed him out of the base.

"What's going on?" She questioned and didn't get a response. "Pein.."

Nagato looked towards the moon light. "She's gone."

"Oh no." Konan gasped. "We have to go search for her."

"What for, we have no idea as to who has kidnapped her."

"Your right. What if Konoha has gotten to her?"

Nagato turned towards his partner. "What do you mean by that?"

Konan grew sour at the question. "What do I mean? Didn't you read the note?"

"Shit."

His partner watched him leave back into the base and head for the meeting room. Konan stayed near the opening of the door and watched Nagato dig in the file cabinets to pull out a crumbled letter. He quickly tore it open and scanned over the letter not missing a single word. The ginger haired male's jaw dropped and he looked up towards the woman to find her smirking.

"Your right, she's been taken back to her home country. Probably in Konoha."

"Well they won't want her know after they find that seal on her stomach." Konan said with a frown.

"Tch, those bitches will probably turn her into a weapon."

Somebody appeared. "What are we going to do now?"

"Nothing but wait till she grows up and be hated by everyone in the village." Explained an exhuasted Pein.

"That's funny, I felt the same thing when I was born, un."

"Which makes it a good thing for her to bond again with us when we capture her in the future."

"And do what? Take the beast?" Deidara hissed trying not to raise his voice. He didn't let them talk. "What is the point of allowing her to live with us then turn around and place some bijuu inside her stomach. In fact, why don't we go hunt the bastard down and kill him."

The room went silent and absorbed the younger male's comment.

"You know what? I might choose you to go after her." Nagato smirked and watched Deidara blush.

"M-me? I have never been asked to do something like that before.." He said in a complete shock.

**Few days later..**

It was quite peaceful in the base. No one bothered to go on any missions that contained cherry blossom petals gliding in the wind. Konan refused to come out of her room leaving Pein without a partner to work with.

His low temperament self was fazed too and didn't budge with moving around to prevent any one from complaining about the lack of pitter pattering sounds in the cave.

The only Akatsuki members that bothered to socialize and continued on with their lives was the three stooges; Hidan, Deidara and Tobi. Said trio was hanging out in the hall way drinking them selves to death with sake.

Hidan spoke first. "I miss the brat."

"Tobi miss baby!" Tobi cried in shame.

Deidara raised an eye brow at him. "How the hell can you miss an infant? It has only been five years and a couple weeks ago, un."

"Really? Which means that she's six today?" Tobi questioned in shock.

"Oh shit! I forgot about that!" Cursed the Jashinist. He got up pacing around the room. "She's probably home sick over there and needs some souvenirs."

"Souvenirs? Tobi don't want to give her dirt and mold.."

"Not that you damn fool! I mean nice gifts that little girls would want."

"If your thinking about giving her a disembodied head, it won't work because that's just disgusting." Deidara pointed out.

"No way, if I dropped it down the chimney like Santa Claus her new parents would think that she's a monster or something. I could give her one of my medallions Jashin made during his time on earth."

"It's an alright idea, but Tobi's will be better!" He taunted them and ran off down the halls.

"Get back here Tobi no baka! Un!"

While the trio was running around, time stood still starting with something being cradled in Konan's arms. This was the only memory of her adoptive child, a blanket that kept her warm at night. All the times of taking care of her when she got sick and spending time with the pinkette came back to her.

"Oh Sakura, where are you?" She signed deeply and moved near the window.

Pein crept into the room. "Today is her birthday."

"I know, she's turning six today. Right Nagato?"

He nodded under current accuracy. "When we visit her to drop off some presents we can catch a glimpse of her files. According to the note her mother left behind, she was born on Konoha's soil."

"A leaf native? I thought you were joking about that suggestion."

"Remember when we were taken there by Jiraiya that fateful day?"

"Of course, that was the day when we were together with the real Nagato as a group."

"During that time in the village, I had a lover. Her name was.."

"Tobi find gift for Sakura chann!"

"Speak of the devil." Pein groaned at the voice. "Did the others get her one as well?"

The orange masked wearing nuke nin nodded faithfully. "Mm, all systems a go!"

Konan giggled a bit. "Alright, we get to see our baby again."

-...-

Two blurs jumped over the Konoha gates. Placing their sandal covered feet on the ground, they moved across the buildings and shops that made living in this village worthwhile. While they walked the rustling of trash cans entered their ears. A black cat jumped off the can then ran under Pein's feet.

He stepped on it's tail letting it howl into the moonlight. Konan jabbed her elbow into his shoulders commanded him to release the kuro neko. Pein lifted his foot and watched the neko scatter around a corner disappearing from sight.

"Sakura loved stepping on cat's tails.." He signed deeply and pressed on.

Konan rolled her eyes at the man and initiated in conversation. "Do you know where she's staying?"

"No. But we can get information from the hokage tower."

"If only Deidara assisted us on this mission.." The blue haired member huffed.

Both Akatsuki kept walking down the side walk coming across a giant building with the kanji word for fire on it. They masked their chakra and walk climbed up the bricks into a window. Once the two got inside, the two partners crept down the hall ways and stopped for a few minutes hiding behind walls so no anbu could spot them.

Once the anbu left around the corner, they moved down a straight hall way pausing near a door. Pein turned the knob and walked inside leaving Konan behind so she could guard the door from any current intruders besides them.

Pein scanned the room and came across a file cabinet next to the desk. He cautiously moved down the aisle using light steps so no booby traps would claim him. The auburn haired male stood over it and tugged on the handle putting pressure on it to open in a swift motion.

He scooped the documents up and started flipping through the profiles trying to located a girl by the name of Sakura. Pein found the profile with ease and started reading it:

Name: Sakura Haruno

Parents Kiyoko and Hiro Haruno

Other siblings: Uknown

Blood type: 0

Birth place: Konoha

There was nothing new in the profile, except the name of her adoptive parents. He dove into their documents as well and found out where they were residing in. Pein placed the folders back in their place and exited out of the filing room.

Konan's eyes glistened with hope. "Did you find out where she lives?"

"Yes. Follow me."

Said Akatsuki duo fled out of the tower into the empty streets. They went to the right away from the bakery and found a five story house with plenty of flowers surrounding it. Konan reached passed her partner and ran up the walls following a light flickering from the third floor.

Once she reached there, her face turned sour. There Sakura was, surrounded by love and affection. Her so called parents were playing a song for her and balloons took to the ceiling with the kanji symbol for sixth decorated on it.

"Is there anything wrong?"

Konan stared into the window. "No, not at all."

Pein took a look and closed his eyes. "We will wait until they leave the room then give her our gifts."

She waited patiently for the couple to leave. It took a long time and the blue haired woman slept on her elbows unaware that Pein was behind her keep his partner from losing her footing and falling off the wall.

Once they left this was their to operate. He tapped her on the shoulder alerting Konan that the couple has vanished to kami knows where and sneaked in from the window. Both criminals stood over the sleeping pinkette.

But she didn't know that they were criminals. In her eyes, they were still her parents. Konan let the tears flow out of her eyes and touched the child with her index finger.

Sakura's eyes fluttered open. "D-daddy?"

"Do I look like him little one?" The figure asked softly.

She shook her head.

"Good. We thought we lost you. Now your back where you belong."

The pinette sat up. "Why? I don't like this place."

"Please don't become a menace just because you don't favor things." Konan advised to her daughter.

"Okay, I'll try.." She signed.

Pein entered the conversation. "You seem bored. Don't like your presents?"

"I don't know. There all right I guess.." Sakura said in a low voice.

He scanned her presents lined up against the wall settled on the shelf. There was a few stuffed animals, kunai sets, and one tea set. How dull for the child of his. So he decided to give her then ones he got from said Akatsuki. Both parents watched their child open the presents.

She lifted up one of them to show them. "Cool, a necklace!"

Konan raised an eye brow at the symbol. "Don't tell me.. Hidan wrapped this up."

Pein nodded with a short yes. "Open mine little one." and got shoved by Konan. "What?"

"Not yet, she isn't old enough." She whispered and turned towards the pinkette. "This present is very special. You can't open it until you are eighteen years old. Okay?"

"Okay." Sakura nodded. "Tell the guys thanks for all these wonderful gifts."

Both of them turned around ready to leave.

Konan turned on her heals to speak one more time. "Oh, and one more thing. Don't show these to anyone. Only you may view them and keep them in a special place in your heart."

"Alright, I promise."

Her mother left out the window and Pein remained.

"What do you plan to do here?"

"Nothing, just become a kunoichi like my okaa san."

He questioned her statement as if she was referring to Konan. Her new adoptive mother working at a shop, so she doesn't really count. Before the male left, her gave the child a quick hug, while ruffling her hair and disappeared in white feathers.

Her birthday finally felt complete.

**A/N:** Sheesh, how long did this take? I lost tack of this story. My bad readers! There will also be another chapter of Cheaply Wrapped so look out for it. Reviews will be nice and add to my progression of the next chapter, which will be out very soon. Bye.^^


	6. A naive reunion and waffles!

**A/N:** What? Did you think those chapters are short lived? Well now that I got it out the way, we can continue. Aren't you happy? I can focus! F-o-c-u-s! What does that spell? Focus! It shouldn't be too hard trying to update that fox story now..

Chapter Six: A naive reunion and waffles!

_Years later.._

A young girl of sixteen was walking down the side walk wearing black boots and a red shirt with a small white circle on the back. **(Shipuuden clothes, what else? D:)** Her hair was cut short like always and reached to her shoulders. She had just finished training with her friends in the team seven training grounds. A lot has happened the few past years, one strong event contained from Suna and Oto invaded the village.

The third died expectantly allowing a new hokage to be chosen. A few months after wards her team mates decide to leave the village. While one left to train and one day become the leader of their village, another left to kill a certain someone.

Sakura didn't bother to send her blond fox after him but he insisted on chasing him down anyways. Something told her that his eagerness to impress the raven haired boy was a behavior that she would never be able to understand. So she chose to stay out of it.

While his rescue mission was still intact, Sakura decided upon her self to train with the fifth to improve on her chakra and strength. Even though the slug princess trained her in the healing arts, some powers still remained untouched for unknown reasons that she will never figure out on her own. A few weeks passed and the retrieving team for Sasuke returned with heavy wounds and crushed spirits.

Sakura felt bad for him but kept quiet while he recovered. His speeding process was quick and soon he requested to train with the toad hermit, Jiraiya and came back two and a half years later drawing attention to himself. At once she clobbered him for doing the sexy jutsu in front of her with the deceased hokage's grandson, Konohamaru.

Their day progressed slowly with the reunions of friendship established before he left the village. Tsunade insisted on Kakashi to battle with them which they clobbered their old coot of a sensei at his own game. Momentarily the team was assigned on a mission to retrieve Gaara.

Sakura beat the crud out of the said member with red hair that has helped the other one steal the kazekage's bijuu. After her victory people started warming up to her abilities. But then Kakashi wasn't doing so well and stepped down leaving his team without a sensei.

It wasn't for so long when two new people showed up. The first was a male team mate replacing their run away friend showing up. Second, was a mentor to assist them on missions. Even though she despised the man who wore tight shirts exposing his stomach, they grew together as fast friends. Only because she didn't give a damn when that lone Uchiha departed to get stronger and take down his brother.

Now as the new group of team seven, their adventures will be here for a life time. Sakura was heading for the Yamanaka flower shop to talk about boys and have tea with Ino keeping her eyes on a blurry white mask wearing shadow.

She stopped moving when an anbu was blocking her way. "Yes sir? What brings you here?"

"Sakura-sama, Tsunade-hime requires you in the hokage tower. Your team mates are already there."

Her body bent over in a quick bow and left in pink petals. She reappears in the tower spooking the hell out of Naruto. Sakura giggled at his horrified nature and resumed her normal posture listing to what Tsunade had to say.

"I brought you all three here today because of the sightings of Akatsuki roaming around numerous countries."

Naruto closed his eyes with a scowl on his face. "We know about that already. But dumb ass Orochimaru and Kabuto-teme messed up our chances to figure out their whereabouts."

"Well we were tipped off by the kage that Deidara, the partner of Sasori, was looking for Sasuke."

Everyone remained quiet after the mentioning of their MIA comrade.

Well not Sakura of course. "You want us to track him down and in a way that will lead to Sasuke?"

"Yes, and vice versa since he is looking for Itachi as well."

"Alright then! Let's kick some Uchiha-teme and clay doll infused butts!" Declared a yellow blob.

Team seven left the hokage tower and packed up in their own bags for the new mission. Sakura took a long pause after storing her toilet products in the bag and ducked going under the bed pulling out a music box.

Her gloved hands wiped the dust off it's black luster and opened it coming across her mementos given to her when she was just a child. Sakura went through the belongings taking out the Jashin necklace and put it around her neck.

"Sakura dear, are you ready for your s-rank mission?" Hollered her mother from downstairs.

"I'm more then ready." The pinkette whispered.

Said girl pulled down the lid on the music box and placed it in her traveling bag. Sakura lifted up the pack and swung it around her back leaving her room down the steps into the living room. She gave her mother one last hug and exited out the door heading off near the gates.

Her speed decreased when Kakashi was there. Normally he wouldn't arrive until the sun sets coming up with the most pathetic excuses you have ever heard But his timing was quite perfect. Sakura did a short jog and stopped near the group giving her team mates a quick hand shake.

"You guys up for this?"

The three males nodded all together at her question. Naruto pumped his fists in the air before speeding off into the distance with his other friends trailing behind him. As team seven jumped from tree to tree, Sakura was lagging behind. Her eyes kept glancing at the pendant she got on her sixth birthday from Hidan. She wonders by chance of reuniting with the group without battling.

Kakashi stopped alerting the others. "Hold it."

"What's going on?" Questioned Naruto.

Sai stopped too. "Ugly is moving slow like a pregnant snail. We have to wait for her."

"Oh." The blond said lazily. His eyes widened in shock. "Sakura-chan is pregnant?"

"No dickless. I was using that as a metaphor."

"What's a metaphor?"

"Never mind.."

"I'll get her." he scarecrow signed disappearing in green leaves. Kakashi repoofed in front of the girl. "Yo! M-"

"Auughhjdfjdfjl!" Sakura screamed and fell out the tree.

Kakashi could be seen from up on the branches. "My bad Sakura-san. You alright?"

The pinkette landed on her bottom and gasped in shock when her bag spilled it's contents all over the forest floor. She scrambled for items not even asking her team mates for help. Naruto and Sai went in reverse back tracing their steps watching as the pink haired girl retrieved her things.

He caught site of a clay bird and picked it up to get swiped away by Sakura. Naruto raised an eye brow at the female's crabbiness and shrugged walking up the bark resuming jumping from tree to tree. Kakashi and Sai stayed back watching the girl stuff her items back in the bag.

"Ugly is acting a little strange today."

"Ditto."

Sakura put the bag around her shoulder and disappeared in an unrecognizable blur. The two males exchanged a look of confusion between each other and followed suit trailing behind her. Soon the rest of team seven caught up with Naruto as they continued looking for Deidara.

He turned on his heels half way facing them. "Anything wrong?"

Kakashi closed in on Naruto. "Not really. Have you find any traces of Deidara's whereabouts?"

The boy nodded and bent down. "I found this after tripping over a root."

Silence took over the forest.

Sai broke it. "You tripped over a root?"

"Shut up Sai-teme!"

"Can I get it pretty please with porn on top?" Kakashi asked with a bat of his eye lashes.

"Sure Kaka-sensei!"

Naruto gave the scarecrow his evidence. He shot a quick glance over to his pink haired team mate and pointed a finger at her. Sai raised an eye brow at his alarmed antics and freaked out at the lack of trees and boulders on the ground. Plenty of holes and earth quakes rooted into the ground decreasing the ability to walk on land.

"Anything wrong Sakura?"

"I lost my present." She revealed in distraught. "Okaa-san is going to kill me."

"Can we help?"

"N-no, you can't. This is my problem and mine alone."

Team seven stood there as Sakura ran around the place destroying everything insight. Naruto tried to compromise with her telling the pinkette to retrace her steps and figure out where she was last time. She pondered over a spot she took for a break back at the last camp sight and left to search for it.

Her travels went back wards like a time reboot. For she has misplaced her most sacred item known to man. Not exactly because her so called fake parents doesn't know about this. Once she passed the trees, she paused when a lone figure was hanging out near the trees.

She can recognize his chakra and put down hers getting sized up by him. The Akatsuki member claimed her with a kunai stuck to her throat. Only problem was that it was stuck in his mouth! He spat it out hurling towards the ground and spoke to her.

"Those konoha nin didn't teach you shit about chakra cloaking, hmmm."

Sakura felt the sting leave her skin. "Deidara, I'm so glad that I found you." and froze at his appearance. "What happened to your arms?"

"He got them torn off by little Itachi!" Exclaimed a new voice.

She didn't have time to respond when a black blur got in front of her. It picked her up tossing her up in the air towards the stars. Sakura fell back down to eath landing in a medium sized members arms. An orange swirled mask blocked his face from view.

"I'm so glad that we found you!" He squealed.

Deidara head butted him into the stomach sending the pinkette flying. "That shit wasn't necessary."

"Why can't we throw the cherry?"

"Because! Those konoha punks might spot her in the air!"

"Why would they spy on her in the air? Humans can't fly."

"I said spot, not spy! Does it look like we have any investigation equipment?"

"No. Cause Tobi can see that your armless and I would drop it in the river."

"What ever, yeah. Now where did Sakura go?"

"Hm? I didn't hear any bones break.."

"Bones? Pein told us to look for her, not drop her like an egg."

"Ooh, that rhymes with drop it like it's hot." Tobi suggested and started pop lock and droppin it." Drop, drop it, like it's hot! Drop it like it's hot!"

"No it does not. Since when does that stupid saying rhyme?" He grumbled in annoyance.

While the two were arguing, a petite feminine voice int erupted them.

"Umm.. hello? Can you please get me down from here?"

Tobi and Deidara looked around the forest and switched their attentions with a large tree. Sakura was stuck inside glaring daggers at them. Tobi reacted positively to her stink eye technique and ran up the trees jumping back down landing on the grass holding her bridal style.

"Did any one order a bouquet of flowers?"

"Sakura-chan! Did you find your present yet?" Shouted a voice from afar.

Her hearing took notice of the voice. "Oh no, Naruto kun is coming this way."

"Oh my god! She knows the Kyuubi!" Shouted Tobi in awe.

"Indeed." Deidara smirked.

Sakura got confused. "What is the kyuubi?"

"Huh? You don't know about the Kyuubi no kitsune being sealing within your fr-" He stopped talking when Deidara head butted him again. "Ow! Tobi and cherry-chan fall down!" Cried the immature Akatsuki subordinate.

On cue she fell over as well.

Sakura picked her self up. "Deidara. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot, I'm all ears." He said with a pause. "Even though my arms are gone, hmm.."

"I don't know how to say this.." She trailed and met his lone blue eye. "Did you mind when I destroyed Sasori back in Suna?"

"Destroyed? More like killed.." He corrected the girl. Deidara acted as if his hands went behind his head. "I don't mind of his sudden absence. There's no more fighting over art even though I am still clobbering Tobi-baka, un."

"Tobi-baka hear Kyuubi coming this way!" Cried the loli pop.

"Well, we best be going now." With that the blond turned on his heels going the opposite direction. Tobi exchanged looks between Sakura and the decreasing gap between himself and his partner then ran off into the breeze. A small smile formed on her lips as she watched the couple vanish along with the passing wind.

A black and orange blur jumped down on her. "Sakura-chan, I have been calling you for donkey years!"

She seemed distracted. "What? Oh. I'm sorry Naruto.."

The rest of team seven walked over.

"Did you find any evidence of the Akatuski?" Asked Kakashi.

_'Of course I got evidence. Tobi and Deidara interacted with me and everything. I hope they don't track him down through my scent..'_

**'That could happen. When the scarecrow is a werewolf.'**

_'Oh my gosh.. Is he?'_

**'No! Give him an answer already.'**

"Sakura."

"Yes?" She asked sweetly.

"Did you find any.."

The kunoichi interrupted him. "Waffles! Any one want to stop for waffles?"

Naruto rapidly waved his right hand in the air. "I do, I do, do, ooohhhhh! Let's make some waffles!"

Sai entered the conversation. "How can we make waffles? From thin air? We don't even have the box."

"Shut up Sai-teme!"

"Actually, I have the box in my travel pack. all we need is a roaring fire."

Silence took over the forest.

"What? Can't a lady carry waffles in her purse?"

Kakashi popped the question. "What's a purse?"

"Grr, forget the purse garbage. Find some wood for the Eggos."

"Righty-o!"

"Hn."

"Can we have maple syrup on them?" Asked Kakashi with puppy dog eyes.

"I can have it on _my _waffles. I don't know about you guys."

Sai and Naruto emerged from out the forest carrying fire wood.

"Where do you want this to go?"

"Over there."

While the two boys decorated the forest, Kakashi had a bone to pick with Sakura. She ignored it and took out a match box from her pack and lit a match on the edge causing the wood to exploded. A raging fire took hold the top and the group sat around it keeping warm.

He kept his distance away from the children. "Hmph, stingy wench."

**From far away..**

Naruto raised an eye brow. "Why is Kakashi-sense acting so ooc?"

"Because. I won't give him any syrup on his waffles." She explained. "Now he won't eat."

The blond shrugged and chowed down on said breakfast item. Speech grew silent as the group (Minus Kakashi) devoured their meal and sat with their legs sprawled out exposing their crotch are and were burping up a storm. Sai sat up cleaning his mouth with a nap kin.

"Hey ugly. Dickless.."

They both turned their heads. "Yeah?"

"This is not dinner."

"So! It was still wonderful.."

"You should be ashamed. For eating waffles and leaving our sensei out of this."

"Sai, shut up.." The kunoichi said with a frown. She turned on her side. "I'm going to sleep. Good night.."

Naruto looked around the camp fire. "While you guys are sleeping I will get water for my ramen." he finished. The dobe stuck a hand into his back pack and took out a bunch of ramen cups. He grinner madly and frowned at the numerous groans coming all around him.

"What's wrong? Can't I bring the ramen on a quest with me?"

"Why didn't you bring the whole damn Ichiraku spot with you." Sai grumbled before plopping down on the ground next to Sakura. "See you tomorrow."

"Hey, hey! Aren't you going to come with me?"

"No. Good night dickless."

Said blond felt lost and confused from his friend's abandonment. He turned around watching Kakashi fall to the forest floor with his orange book on his lap. Naruto rolled his eyes and made a huff from his mouth before getting up and walking towards a near by river for his food.

The boy bent down on his knees opening the bowl with a kunai. "Stupid friends, always leaving me out of their sleeping habits.." He grumbled.

Suddenly the sounds of rustling hit his ear drums. "Oh now you guys are here? Well too bad cause I'm eating them all my.."

Naruto found himself talking to his own sanity and got up coming face to face with a black rabbit. "Aw, it's the trix rabbit."

The rabbit got up on it's hind legs. A serious look was on it's face. "Does it look like I eat colorful cereal?"

He went like this, 0.o and fainted.

-Back near the camp site-

The rest of the team were sleeping peacefully and were awoke by a feminine scream. They bolted awake taking out a kunai to defend them selves with and left behind a few clones to guard the resting area. Judging by his chakra increasing along with the flow of his heart, they came across a passed out Naruto being trampled on by a black rabbit.

"H-help, m-me g-guys!" He stuttered in anger. Naruto was trying to capture him but it was too quick. It dodged his hands from creeping around it's neck and fell to the floor gaining speed. Team seven bumped heads not moving a muscle as it circled around them nipping at their heels.

"Any ideas Kakashi-sensei?" questioned the kunoichi.

"Yeah. I got plenty of them." Kakshi replied simply, lifting up his head band unleashing the sharingan. Time slowed down for the scarecrow including his team. He left his spot landing a blow on the rabbit but it was too fast leaving in a trail of smoke.

_'Shit. It's too fast.'_ He thought with a growl. _'How the hell is it keeping one step ahead of me?'_

The rabbit quick moving smacking it's ass with it's paws. "Come on slow poke Kakashi. You can do better then that."

It leaped off down the forest before Kakashi was able to land a hit on him. He reverted the sharigan back to normal in his black eyes allowing the teenagers to move around in normal speed again. Naruto ran up to the group scratching the back of his head in confusion.

"What was that black rabbit doing here?"

"I don't know. But he seems to know my name."

"Let's go back to Konoha and report the mission as a complete dud." Spoke the scarecrow.

Sakura got sad. "I hate telling the world that we failed."

"Me too Sakura-chan, me too.."

-In the tower-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THE MISSION WAS A DUD?"

Team seven went like this, 0.o and took a few steps backwards away from the oak desk.

"W-were so sorry Tsunade-baan chan! But we didn't get any leads." apologized the blond.

"How? Scratch that, I'll tell you something else. Even though your findings are worthless, Hinata and Kiba are still out there searching for Deidara."

Naruto sat on the desk. "Yay! Let's wait for Hinata-chan and Kiba-kun."

He was oblivious to the irritating marks radiating off Tsunade. "You twerp.. What are you doing?"

The blond started swining from side to side rapping a familiar tune. "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm doin me.. I'm doin me!"

Tsunade exploded like an earth quake. "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A DRAKE CONCERT TO YOU?" She roared.

Naruto fell off the desk due to shock taking over his circuits. "..."

Sakura stared at him for a few seconds. "Do you think he'll be alive for what comes next?"

Kakashi bended down on his knees checking the blonds pulse. "Yeah, he'll be alright." and started patting his head. "Un, ramen is for free today."

"RAMEN?" Boomed the recovered blond. "Where? I want some ramen!"

Knock, knock.

Some one was knocking on the door.

"Seems like you got your wish." Spoke a mild Tsunade. "Sakura-chan. Open the door if you may."

The pinkette wandered past her team and turned the knob with her gloved hands. What they excepted wasn't what they were hoping for. Oh well, what you see is what you get..

"Aww, man! No ramen for Naruto-kun today!" Whined the boy.

"Naruto hush." Scowled the blossom. She smiled at the visitor "Hello. What brings you here today?"

**A/N:** Hehehe, who's at the door you ask? Wait until the next chapter. Surprised by the twist aren't you? I decided not to follow some parts of the manga and added my own methods into it. The black rabbit will be explained later or could possible never go away until the mystery is solved.

I'm so happy that Sakura got to see her boys again. Sniff, sniff, bye Sasori-kun. I do have plans for him to return for the upcoming chapters though. So don't be too sad just yet. Reviews are nice and will be added towards the next chapter. See you next time. ^^


	7. Rabbit cut your tongue?

**A/N:** Omg, over ninety nine reviews! Time to give out my shout outs for this wonderful moment. I would like to thank my fans, my father for buying me this laptop for my eighteenth birthday, and my mom for continuing to pay the Verizon bill. Even though she hates doing it. I guess that's it..0.o

Oh yeah, I forgot to use this; I do not own Naruto! Except the plot and my oc animals!

Chapter Seven: Rabbit cut your tongue?

* * *

"Nothing much. Just down right annoyance for the mission."

Sakura moved to the side allowing Kiba and Hinata to come inside. She felt quite bad for messing with their chances at finding Deidara and Tobi. Not too much since her own team couldn't find them either. If she plays her cards right, they could be lead into a goose chase with no signs of flattering out.

So she played them for a bit. "Are you here to report on your mission?"

Kiba nodded and sunk down onto the desk writing something on the scroll. "Yeah, it was a complete scam. After being tipped, the information was fishy and stupid."

Hinata fumbled with her fingers a bit. "I-I'm s-sure that we'll track him down next time.."

"We'll we came close to finding him until Sakura-chan messed us up." Grumbled the blond. Sakura sent a death glare towards him.

"It's not my fault that you tripped over a root."

"See? Even ugly agrees with my sentence back in chapter six."

"Shut up Sai-teme!"

"Enough!" Barked the hokage. She settled down and folded her arms between her chest. "Even though we were given the chance to track down the organaization of said Akatsuki, we blew it. Which means that blaming others isn't the way to go." Team seven looked at each other with sympathetic looks. "Now would you mind leaving my office? I have paper work to do."

After Tsunade's little speech ended, Naruto turned around facing Sakura. "Meh, I'm sorry for acting bitchy around you." he apologized wit his hands behind his head.

Sakura's eyes grew soft. "Are you sure?" Then she socked him with her fists into the book case. "CAUSE I'M NOT!" roared the girl.

Naruto fell to the floor with a bloody nose. Books from inside the book case crumble from their spots up above and fell upon him. Kiba and the rest of the male members smirked evilly while Hinata rushed to his aid.

She checked for any wounds and squeezed him tight wailing, "Oh Naruto-kun! Are you going to be alright?"

His blue eye's fluttered open. "Y-yeah.. I'm going to be all right." He stuttered in response.

"Y-you should leave the village for getting hit by Sakura-chan all the damn time. I wouldn't be upset if you did and brought me along with you."

Everybody in the room had wide eyes. "H-Hintata? what the hell are you saying?"

On cue, she stood up with fire in her eyes. "Yes, I'm not joking. This has all been a charade to gain your trust."

The rest of the people were speechless. Minus Naruto.

"You were a spy all this time? Wow, and I thought Neji was thoughtless."

Hinata grew white like a ghost. "I-I'm not a s-spy N-Naruto-kun.." Kiba sweat dropped at her actions.

"I guess she's back to normal then." He spoke, and pulled her out the room. "See you later guys." Then left down the halls with Hinata screaming in front of him.

"WHAT'S GOING ON? PUT ME BACK! SHE'S GOING TO HIT HIM AGAIN!"

Sakura was watching them leave. "Wow, and those NaruHina lovers thought I was crazy."

Naruto responded to her with another joke. "Naw, those SasuHina lovers are worse. Including the yaoi extremists."

"I know. One time, I was scanning through the Naruto manga section and a SasuNaru came up. At first, it sounded normal in the first paragraphs until they introduced me into the story.." she paused, getting a little more agitated then before. "Shall I explain it?" The boys shook their heads feverishly at her. "Good."

Silence took over the room.

"Can you imagine those crossover stories that come into our genre.." Questioned Naruto.

"Shut up!"

...

(Unknown source's POV)

Hehehe, those dumb humans are pathetic. They have no idea that I am waiting impatiently outside for them on this ledge. Egad! What the hell is this floating by near my face. It's so ugly! Ugh, why does it have over eight legs? Must destroy it! I take it down with my super karate chop and it explodes like a bomb. Oh yeah, back to my convincing sly conversation.

It was quite easy getting through Konoha's security for I am a rabbit and we kick ass so good. Oh wait, you must be curious to who I am aren't you? Well, you can call me Rabbit-sama. Using the Japanese word,_ usagi_ makes me sound queer (which I am not.) and don't you dare assume that as my persona.

But do not think of it right away as my current name. For it shall be revealed soon when all the pieces crumble into my evil puzzle piece. While I await patiently for the ningen with the pink hair and wide forehead to open the door and allow said visitor in, something poked me. Hard.

"Yes.." I asked, anger rising. "May I help you?"

"Usagi-kun, I found out where the ky-"

I beat her to the punch. "Oh hush. I already know where he is. Which means that you failed."

I smirked evilly when the other animal made a small moping sound. Oh I am good. So good, that other animals and silly naive people melt in my paws. My coal eyes looked away from the window and landed on the critter before me. It was small with a chubby stomach and red pelt. The creature looked as it it wore a white mask and had the most annoying beady black eyes I had ever seen. What pissed me off was the most babiest attitude stuck within her.

"You like picking on me, huh?" Started the critter. Her voice cracked a bit.

"Aka-panda, quit it with the water works."

"Why? So you could make fun of me again?" Wailed the tiny critter.

"Meh, okay. It's your funeral.." I shrugged lazily. "Let master know that your slaking off and that I should get a promotion."

"What?" It gaped like a fish. "W-what are you talking about?"

I didn't bother continuing the conversation into a never ending rant and paid more attention to the room filled with..people? Where did pinky, dobe, sadistic and scarecrow go? My body dropped down from the trees and I ran on my front paws picking up a scent heading for the town square. There was about three ningens walking in a group with no intentions on figuring out their stalkers.

"Shit. They already left out the tower.." I hissed.

The silly red panda climbed down the bark onto the dirt floor. She was standing high up on her hind legs. "What is the matter?"

"While you were crying like a bitch, they had left. I don't know why our master has assigned me on this mission with you."

"Y-you don't mean t-that.." blubbered the panda.

While myself and the red panda were arguing a shadow settled below us. It started to move a little flying around our bodies.

"Ahoy bafoons! Aren't you going after them?" Boasted a recognizable voice.

My left eye twitched rapidly. What was this fool doing here? And about fucking time he emerged! I hopped towards the shadow and kept my attention on the creature before me. It was white as snow and had large intimidating yellow eyes. Not like I was afraid of the damn fool. I could take him. No problem at all.

"About time you shown your self." I muttered with my arms cross against my chest. My body flew back wards with the bird's feet tangled with my fur. "Will you get off me?" I questioned angrily, and the stupid bird never stopped choking me. He sent me over to a tree and kept me there for a few minutes.

His eyes flicked for a moment. "Don't you hurry me. Remember this, I can scoop you up and eat your arrogant ass for breakfast."

I lazily stared at him with a smirk developed on my face. "Oh really? What happened to eating me for dinner?"

"Nah, I changed my mind. Your more like a cheap weight watchers meal to me.."

Tension was building including the deepening silence that has taken over around us. We stayed like this for a while until the red panda emerged with an anxious look on her face. She seemed to be blabbing about the human's departure over towards a giant building with people coming out of the flaps.

"Seems like they took a break." I said, breaking the ice. My paws swiped at the feet that held me up. "We should get going and dig up some dirt on them."

"Usagi-sama.." Whined my team mate.

"It's Rabbit-sama to you. Get it right."

"I-I'm sorry sir.." She stuttered in apology.

Polly stared at her. "Are you serious? Akayume, you shouldn't put up with this bull shit."

Akayume looked down in shame. "I know Yukimaru.." she whispered poorly.

"Tch, this is all bull shit. We should already be getting the information needed for our master." I said briskly.

Once I left those losers alone, they trailed behind me. Well, maybe the silly naive red panda did. Yukimaru took to the sky and got there first, nesting on top of the building. He was looking down on us and kept twisting his head right to left while keeping tabs on the villagers who went into the shop or came out with boxes of food in their hands.

Our bodies hid behind the store. "Well? Now what should we do?"

Akayume developed a plan. "I know. Why don't we use a henge?" Questioned the panda.

"What for? Were not ninjas."

"Oh." Frowned Akayume.

"Well I can't go in. There's people in there that capture snow owls for fun. I'm quite surprised that we didn't get swooped up and thrown in the animal shelter yet." Explained the white owl.

"Hn. Leave every thing to me." I declared steadily.

This was my time to shine..

...

(Out of rabbit sama's POV)

"Well, I was like, you suniva bitch! and then I stabbed him in the face..." Naruto yapped freely and grew happy when something ran into the shop. "Omgosh, it's Usagi-chan!"

Standing a couple feet away from the humans was a black rabbit. Instead of sniffing the ground and eating carrots, it was standing up abnormally on it's hind legs. People exchanged a quick look with each other and got off the stools forming a crowd around the abnormal creature.

The rabbit blocked his eyes with his paws. "Gah, the evil humans have spotted me!"

"Aww, he's so cute!" Slurred a villager.

"I love his fur!" Cooed another.

Usagi grew annoyed. "Do I look kawaii to you? Now leave me alone!" he shouted, then flinched when a little boy poked him. "Huh? Who goes there?"

"Mommy, can I keep him? Can I?"

Rabbit-sama freaked out from all the pressure targeted directly to him and burrowed into the ground disappearing from sight. Piles of dirt in a trail lead out of the shop deeper into the town. After realizing that the rabbit was out of their grasp, the villagers moaned and groaned then left out of the Ichiraku ramen shop. Team seven still remained by the stools and were chit chating away with the owner.

"Did you see that? I'm telling you, that rabbit was following us around this whole time." Spoke Sakura.

"Wow. How did you know that?" Questioned the blond.

"Couldn't you tell by the black blob in the window?" Stated a bored Sai.

"Shut up Sai-teme!"

"Judging by the look in it's eyes, I don't think it wants to be friends with us." Kakashi said. He got up from the stool. "See you late guys." and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Yeah. I should be leaving too." Added the pinkette.

She attempted to leave when Naruto caught her by the arm. Sakura sent him a _'don't fuck with me look'_ and he let go. The kunoichi went on her way leaving out of the Ichiraku's distance towards her house and froze in mid step.

Sakura heard the sound of the bushes. "Come out Naruto."

A black and orange blob escaped from the bushes. "Mou, can I walk home with you?"

Her eyes narrowed. "What for? Nobody mugs a ninja anymore.."

"I know that.." He whined. "But I need some protection from the evil Usagi-teme!"

Sakura raised a pink eye brow. "Usagi-teme?" she repeated trying not to laugh.

"Y-yeah! Will you let me sleep with you as well?"

"Omg, Naruto! Will you quite acting like a sissy and walk home by your self?" she snapped viciously.

"Please! Please! Please! I'm desperate!"

Instead of taking it, she resented it. "Oh please. Didn't Jiraiya teach you to go for the desperate females first? Not the other way around.."

While Naruto and Sakura kept talking, another rustle of the leaves went global. The dobe screamed like a girl and jumped into Sakura's arms. She caught him instantly and dropped the boy making him fall on his ass. Naruto laid there for a while with a kunai in hand while Sakura wandered into the bushes to investigate.

It took quite awhile for the girl to update her status. Naruto grew desperate.

"Sakura-chan! Did you get eaten yet?"

"Aw, what do we have here?" Cooed the pinkette.

"Huh? What are you awing at?"

"Tee hee. You are a cutie! I love your cotton tail!"

"What is it? I wanna know!" Whined the blonde from out in the open.

"Naruto, met your Usagi-teme."

The boy squinted his eyes. "Huh? You mean that he's the teme? Sheesh, I saw worst!"

"Oh hush. I'm going to keep him at my house for a while." Sakura suggested then walked away with the rabbit in her arms. The cherry ignored Naruto's desperate calls from afar and kept going heading for her apartment. When she opened the front door with her key, the rabbit jumped out of her arms and onto the floor.

"You. Awful human. What brings me here in your humble abode?" Questioned the sly rabbit.

Sakura went like this, 0.o, then entered the kawaii faze. "So cute!" she cooed.

Usagi froze like the river then looked down to his feet. "Shit. I'm standing on both hind legs."

The pinkette started heading for her closet. "Wait! Don't move!" and came out holding a little jacket and tie. "Will you please wear this? I want to send this as a post card to Ino."

"No."

"How about this?" She asked, holding up a white feathered hat with black boots.

"I am not Puss in boots."

"Then what are you?"

"I am.. Usagi no terminator."

"..." Went the confused cherry blossom. Her hands were at her sides. "Huh? You lost me there.."

"Never mind. I also go by the name Usagi no sama. Not chan, not kun, and not sempai. Just Usagi no sama."

"..." Went the confused cherry blossom once again. "M'kay! I'll call you Mr. Cotton!"

_'Mr. Cotton'_ Cringed when he got scooped up into the arms of the pinkette. She misunderstood the words cuddling with strangling as she kept hugging him to death. Usagi squirmed under her grasp and hopped down from her body landing on his hind legs.

With his back facing her, "Hmph. Stupid chick." Muttered the rabbit.

"Are you hungry Mr. Cotton? I'm sure that I have enough carrots for you to eat."

"I don't want carrots." He responded bitterly then jumped onto the couch. "Do you have any dango for me to eat?"

"Dango?" She blinked.

"Yes. Dango. For my master loved them so much that he fed me them when I was still a kit."

"Master?" She blinked once more.

"Yes master. I will not reveal my past to you each time there's a stupid expression on your face."

"Wha?" She questioned meekly and got clonked on the head. "Itai!"

Usagi took his paw away from her noggin. "Well, I don't know how long I would be here. For the time being I will roost with you."

"Why? Did you miss place your master or something?" She questioned slyly while healing her head.

The rabbit noticed this. "Healing powers? Since when were you blessed with healing powers?"

"Hm? I was taught by the hokage, my shisou."

"Oh really now?" Usagi said, not truly believing the sentence. His ears perked like a radar. "Some one is at the window." Then hopped away to check on it.

A red panda was by the window pane. "Usagai-chan! Is that you?" Yelled the estranged female.

"Err, I'm sick and tired off all these questions. Yes, it is I. Usagi no sama." Groaned the rabbit.

Aka-panda placed her paw to the pane. "Good. Cause we captured the Kyuubi no kitsune."

"How? I don't see him up in the trees like a monkey."

"Oh.. Um.. Yukimaru crashed into the apartment window by accident."

"What? Your telling me that the damn idiot got stolen by the Kyuubi?"

"Not stolen, just roosting inside his apartment until his wing get's better."

Usagi switched his attention to the woman occupying this house then back at Akayume. "Well, I can't leave yet."

"Why not?"

"Master required us to get information on the Kyuubi, and cherry blossom. Not just him alone."

"Oh. Okay! I'll come back soon." Grinned the red panda.

While Usagi and the red panda stared at each other, Sakura's voice could be heard.

"Usagi-kun, will you come here and wear this tuxedo and top hat for me? I want you to dance like Bugs Bunny."

"Ugh, I hate my life.." Muttered the rabbit.

"Eehhee, seems like I'm not wanted here. See ya!" Giggled Akayume, then she floated away.

Usagi shook his fist in the air saying, "Curse you silly panda!" and stopped only to bump into a slobbering dog.

Scratch that, a wolf.

This made him shit pellets.

Would he ever make it out alive?

...

**A/N:** Random much? Well, this should be enough to answer the question about Usagi. Which I bet most of you are really confused about. Try back tracing a bit into the previous chapters and maybe you'll find a clue about the rabbit's owner. Can you guess who he belongs to? Or where that wolf came from? I'm not revealing it just yet! Maybe the wolf, but not him.

I'll give you virtual cookies if one of you get's it right. Oh yeah, it's spring break on the eastern coast! I love it! So far, there's been a spike in the weather with no threats of thunderstorms. Not! There's plenty of twenty percents, forties, ect. I only have five days left to enjoy my self so I don't really give a damn.

To sleep, eat, and go outside. That's a vacation for you! Defiantly when you have money to spend. Doesn't mean that I won't update though! Another chapter of Akatsukibbles N Bits is coming soon. Review please! I'll get back with you soon. D:


	8. Wolf Chomper

**A/N:** Yahoo! What do we have here? 0.o One hundred and seven reviews! Your reviews make me happy. I would like to award the people who figured out the cliffhanger out from chapter seven: Kajmew, XxDemDemxX, XxGolden Shiny ChocoboxX, Raging Typhoon Wolf, Mystic Snow Flake Fox, AkatukiSexToy101, LoneWolfMaokami and all my wonderful viewers! Without you, I wouldn't be updating! Now let's roll D:

Chapter Eight: Wolf Chomper

* * *

"Oh my..it appears to me that I have taken a dump on my self."

Drip, drip, drip.. Including urine.

"Grrrr.." growled the wolf.

The rabbit looked down at the floor then back at his enemy. "Um..Do you have a towel I can use?" he questioned at the foe.

It reacted by chasing him around the down stairs space. Said rabbit hopped on a drawer, picking up a few vases with his paws, and aimed a few at he wolf. The animal held it's ground as many priceless artifacts flew his way. Realizing that the vases never hit him, the wolf reopened his eyes and lazily dodged the blows with ease. Usagi grew tired and brought his hand up and swished it back and forth in shock.

"Shit! I'm out of explosives!" Exclaimed the rabbit.

Soon the tables turned making him seem like the victim. Usagi got pushed back by a vicious animal with snow white fur and brown eyes. He took a couple steps backwards when the wolf crept closer decreasing the distance between them.

Said rabbit got stuck in a corner and couldn't find anything to throw or stab at it.

Then suddenly, the wolf speaks. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Usagi stopped shaking and looked at him with a toothy grin. "N-nothing out of the ordinary. Just me, a silly ol rabbit.." replied the kurousagi.

"Sure. Why don't you hop for me then?"

The black rabbit grew annoyed. "Who do you think I am? The Easter bunny?" questioned the irritated rabbit.

"Not exactly. For we just passed the holiday a few weeks ago."

Out of nowhere, Usagi took a nose dive passing underneath the wolf's belly onto the other side of the room. The wolf growled and started jogging forming into a sprint heading straight for him. Mr. Cotton looked away spotting an umbrella in some type of pail.

Usagi hopped away out of harms why and quickly stole it. "On guard!" he shouted, while stabbing the air multiple times.

The wolf got confused and kept bobbing his head up and down following the sudden swift moments. It started to concentrate on the umbrella and stretched his neck taking one large bite out of the umbrella.

It looked at the umbrella, then back at him. "Eehehe, um.. nice snack, huh?" he asked meekly.

Said okami glared at him. "Are you finished yet?"

Before Usagi could thrust his paw up the mutt's bum hole, Sakura appeared. She seemed pissed off. Usagi smirked evilly and hopped away before the wolf could snap his foot off and expose all his bones to the world, hid behind the kunoichi's leg.

"M-mummy, this mean dog is harassing me." Stuttered the faker.

"Yuki? Yuki wouldn't hurt a fly." she said simply.

Usagi allowed some tears to fall. "Alright.." he sobbed and put his arms up in the air. "Will you carry me to the sofa?"

Yuki watched the victim get picked up by his caretaker. He rolled his blue eyes at the rabbit's innocence and trotted away allowing his sharp nails to hit the floor board. The giant wolf walked around in a few circles and sat down keeping a close eye on his new eager house guest.

Sakura placed him on the couch. "Now you stay here while I go make you some carrot juice." she said, and walked away out the living room.

Mr. Cotton twisted in the chair, watching her leave, and turned messing with the pillows set around him. Usagi fluffed them up and closed his eyes ready for sleep.

Said wolf smirked. "Seems like your alone."

"I guess I am." He replied lazily. Usagi stole a tooth pick from the pig jar and placed it in his mouth. "Tell me slobber boy, how's life with the girl?"

"Alright. Decent meals, a warm place by the fire, and plenty of belly rubs to go around."

"Interesting. Now do you watch her get nude?"

"What was that?" Growled the wolf.

"Nothing. I mean, you know, strip for the shower?"

"No. she closes the door so I don't jump in and bathe with her." Explained the wolf. "Like I use to do with her when I was still a pup.."

"Good. Cause I don't want to see any bestiality while I'm around."

The cherry blossom wandered in holding a cup filled with orange liquid. "Here we are Mr. Cotton!" she exclaimed happily.

Usagi made a gurgling sound in his mouth. He stopped and watched a cup be placed before him on the coffee table. The rabbit's coal eyes surveyed the drink steadily. Bubbles popped out and a few stench fumes could be seen exploding into the sky.

"Mm, yummy.." he exaggerated in pure disgust. "Do I have to drink this? Can't you give me cabbage instead?"

"Now you finish up the whole thing Mr. Cotton.." she scowled.

Usagi looked at the drink, then back at her. "Um, excuse me. Cherry girl. I need a straw in order to consume this delightful meal in a cup."

Sakura nodded and walked away leaving her new friend behind. Usagi watched her leave and hoped off the sofa onto the coffee table.

"Ew, what the hell kind of drink is this?" He questioned. Usagi brought the cup up to his face and sniffed it. Then tossed it away to the floor. "I'm done."

Yuki kept staring. "You're very rude for a puny rabbit." Usagi gave him the stink eye.

"Your very ugly, but I'm not complaining about you."

"Like wise. Mind tell me how my mistress has found you?"

"Well, I was lost in the forest. Cold and hungry, I survived on only grass clippings and acorns. Until out of the blue, a gorgeous cherry blossom goddess emerges from the trees. She walks by and picks me up saving my arrogant ass from being consumed by a grouchy bear!" Ended the rabbit in excitement.

Silence took over the entire room.

"That was the most unbelievable load of bull crap I have ever heard."

"Shut up! I was being sarcastic."

Suddenly, he was pushed onto the floor. Usagi found him self trapped by a large white furred canine. The rabbit tried to escape but the pressure of his new room mate was too difficult for him to remove by himself. So he ended up compromising with a deal.

"Hey, hey. Mind letting me escape?"

Yuki pressed harder onto the rabbit. "Not a chance. I smelled an extinct scent of humans." he growled.

Usagi froze, and began lifting his arm pits. "Really? Next time I won't borrow my master's deodorant." he put them down and smirked. "Seems like you figured me out. Now what?" questioned the rabbit. Yuki didn't know what to say. "If I were you, I wouldn't kill me just yet."

"Yuki! Why are you slobbering on Mr. cotton?"

The wolf got thrown off by Sakura. She bent down and picked up the rabbit and smoothed out his fur. "There you are, you won't be harmed any more."

Said rabbit slithered out of her grasp and onto the floor. His paw's swiped at the slobber. "None taken." Muttered the black rabbit.

Sakura looked at the window. "Looks like it's time for bed." She said, turning to face them. "You'll be sleeping with us."

"W-what?" Stuttered the male rabbit.

He got taken by the girl and she walked out of the room with her giant companion by her side. They traveled up the steps into the hall ways soon going over into a red colored room with black satin sheets and a few dressers with a mirror in the middle.

Sakura dropped the rabbit to the floor and wandered away into the bathroom. The sound of the door slamming could be heard which permitted her animal friends from entering without her permission. Which Usagi didn't figure out, at all.

It started to hop, "Alright. I'm going to take over this entire room!"

"No your not.." Signed the adamant wolf. "Your going to sleep in a cage while I nest in Sakura's bed."

Usagi stopped jumping landing on his right foot with the other suspended in mid air. "What did you just say?"

Yuki stared him in his pathetic black eyes. "You heard me. Your staying in a cage over near the dresser."

Mr. Cotton sucked his teeth. "Oh hell no. I'm going to rest in that queen sized bed over there." he said in a determined voice.

The wolf launched him self over to Usagi's direction. He reacted quickly by playing leap frog over Yuki's body and landed on top of the bed.

"Hehe, your too slow for me." he taunted. Usagi stopped hopping and twitched his ears like a radar. "Hold up.. what's that sound?"

"Bath water. The pipes are giving away in my mistress's shower."

"Oh really?" It asked, now knowing what to do next. Usagi rubbed his paws together. "Eehehe, it's hot springs time."

The rabbit hopped of the bed and kept going heading for the bathroom. Usagi put his ears to the door listing in onto the upcoming activities beyond the next room. After locating her presence, he slowly opened the door leaving a crack in it and walked inside undetected.

Yuki rested on his paws. "This is going to be good.."

Three.. two..one..

"sajdhshfkldjklfjgkfjlgk~ Get the fuck out of my shower!"

The sounds of rabbit feet and screams filled the air. Soon, the door flung open and a black rabbit flew out through the room and crashed onto the wooden floor next to Yuki. The wolf snickered to himself and watched the rabbit get up with plenty of swollen bruises atop his head.

"D-damn it.. I saw everything!" Stuttered a shocked rabbit. A trail of blood oozed out from his pink nose. Usagi touched it with his paw. "Seems like I got a nose erection."

...

Usagi got thrown into the chair by a robe wearing kunoichi. "Hey, hey! Baby, why you leaving me out in the open like this?"

Sakura could be seen at the front of the room holding onto the door. Yuki was down by her inner thigh smirking like a kid at Christmas time.

"Piss off." she hissed. The door slammed shut leaving her ltitle rabbit friend alone to fend for him self.

He sunk into his chair muttering, "This blows." and curled up in a ball.

Usagi closed his eyes and started to dream of petite female rabbits coming in and out of his borrow after giving him a blo..

Tap, tap, tap.

Only a perked rabbit ear could be seen. It flicked back and forth.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Suddenly, a full head came up at the top of the couch. "Who goes there?" He asked in a hollow voice.

Over by the window, a red panda was tapping the glass. "Usagi-chan, you there?"

"About time you came." squeaked the rabbit. It jumped off the couch and hopped over near the window. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come inside with you? It's lonely out here.."

Usagi looked away, then back at her. "Are you serious? If you come in here, she'll dress you up like a doll."

"Dress up? I always wanted to play dress up!"

"Ugh.. no point of talking about stuff with you anymore."

"Why not?" Asked a doe-eyed red panda. Usagi rolled his eyes at her.

"Never mind. How's Yukimaru doing?"

"He's doing.. okay.."

"Okay? He's suppose to be our messenger bird. If he's doing okay or mediocre, then we can't use him any longer."

"Would you stop fowl talking Akayume? I'm doing just fine." Kawed a familiar voice.

Both animals looked up finding a snow owl high in the trees sitting on a branch.

Akayume twirled around a bit. "Yay! Our bird has returned to us!"

Usagi seemed mad, rather then happy. "Why did you abort the mission?"

"I didn't abort anything. Naruto let me free out the window after my wing healed, and that's how I got here."

"Tch, leave it to the jinchuriki to help with an enemy." Tched the rabbit.

Yukimaru cocked his head to the side in curiosity. "Does the cherry know about us?"

"Hell no. In fact, there's someone here."

"Who?" Questioned the panda.

"Our leader. Let's go."

Usagi dashed for the midnight breeze only to crash into it. He rubbed his head and opened his eyes realizing that there was still a window right in front of him. The rabbit growled as his friends chuckles and poked fun at him.

"Hahaha, Usagi-chan ran into the window." giggled the red panda.

Usagi said nothing and turned, looking straight ahead at a white object. "Silly wolf, open up this window."

Yuki sat at the floor. Sakura let him out the room a few minutes ago.

"No way." he mumbled.

"Why not?"

"Cause, your an idiot."

"Fine. Don't help me. Next time, I won't be nice and scratch your balls for you when you get a thorn stuck up your butt."

"Since when? You have only been here for a day.."

Usagi went like this, 0.o and head butted the window, causing it to shatter. The wolf got up on it's front and back paws then galloped towards the window. He skidded to a halt on his back paws and watched three blurry objects move across the back yard into nothing but darkness..

...

"We saw cherry-chan! We saw cherry-ch-" Tobi couldn't finish when he got head butted. "Ack! Tobi fly like Peter Pan into tree!"

"Shut up. I don't don't want the whole world to know of our business, un."

His naive partner dropped down from the trees with his knee's bended. Tobi got back up with a smile behind his mask. "I'm pretty sure that you were happy to see her as well." added the male.

"Not happy. Just plain delighted." Exaggerated Deidara.

Tobi's happy mood soon faded. "That's strange. You sure don't sound happy.."

"Why would I be happy to find a girl that has a very fragile secret within her?"

Tobi morphed into Madara. "Your right. I'm quite concerned with how she'll take this.." replied the mastermind.

Both members stopped near the base. None of them bothered to remove the boulder from their bat cave.

Deidara stood there, tapping his foot. "Ahem, aren't you going to move the rock so we can get inside?"

"Why me? Don't you always do it? I might break a nail.." Whined the puny member.

Deidara cringed in pure annoyance. If he has arms he would punch the masked man through his god damn mask! He cooled off a bit and gave the naive member a few guide lines on how to remove the sword out of the stone.

"To remove the rock you must pick it up and toss it."

"Toss it to the moon? Tobi always wanted to go to the moon."

"Hell no! Un! Now remove it!"

"Remove what? Is a thorn stuck in your butt? Tobi not a pervert cause Tobi don't want to steal your virginity.."

Silence took over the forest.

"JUST REMOVE THE FUCKING BOULDER!"

Tobi flinched from his partners yelling and stole the boulder from it's place. He stood there, like a statue and avoided Deidara who swept past him into the base. Said loli pop man went whew and pushed the rock towards the front then walked inside.

"Err, why is it so dark in here?"

"Does Deidara-sama need a candle?"

"Of course I do. To burn your cloak and throw your punk ass out."

"Eek! Deidara-sama doesn't like Tobi?"

"Just go on ahead. I'll figure my way out.."

Tobi swept past him deep into the base. Deidara traced the memories of which door was located and came across a bright light coming from the kitchen. He kept following it straight ahead and tried greatly to block out the loudness bombing in the air.

"Damn it Tobi! What the fuck are you doing? Quit breathing in my mother fucking dinner!"

"Tobi sorry! Tobi will stop breathing in your tuna."

"You still are bitch! Knock it the fuck off!"

Deidara appeared in the kitchen door way. He flinched when a black and red blur slammed into his chest. "Get the fuck off me, yeah!" he shouted in rage.

Tobi stood in front of him shaking like a wet puppy. "I-I-I can't.. Hidan-sama is coming this way!"

"Fuck the damn jashinist, un." Cursed the clay bomber. A hint of silver came before him. "Why hello masochist, pleasure having you gracing my presence."

"Same thing to you girly man."

"What do you want? I'm already tired of you enough as it is.."

"Just curious of where you spotted the kitten."

Rowdy conversations buzzed around the room.

"Hey! You got no right to call her a kitten! Only I can call her that!" Exploded the giant fish.

"Shut the fuck up Jaber Jaw. I'm pretty sure that Shamo wants his teeth back." Joked Hidan.

Kisame sucked his teeth and sipped more sake. He stopped, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Speaking of animals, where is our weasel?" The group grew silent. A thought came to mind. "Perhaps maybe he's contacting more of the wild kingdom about the kitten's whereabouts."

"Where else would she be? Taiwan?" Exaggerated the blond.

"What the fuck is bloody ass Taiwan?"

"Tobi want to go to Taiwan!"

"I should have never said that.." Sweat dropped Deidara.

A blue haired woman with an origami piece in her hair walked by. Instead of swaying and shaking her hips like any other female would do, she stormed around like a moody cloud. All the men kept looking trying to locate where she was and parted ways when she spotted them.

Her eyes stare at the them blankly. "What the hell do you punks want?"

Silence flown around the table.

Hidan leaned to his right, talking to Kisame. "I think she's on her bloody ass period." whispered the man.

Konan balled up her fists. "What the hell did you say, jashin whore?" she growled.

Tobi tried to cheer her up. "Aa, konan-chan! We saw Sakura-chan today!" he chirped.

"..."

"Um.. I think you broke her." Spoke the cautious fish.

"YOU SAW OUR SAKURA?"

"Umm.. no?"

Koan smacked Deidara upside the head. "Why the fudge did you lie to me?"

The blond couldn't smack her back and gave in. "It wasn't me, it was Tobi!" he exclaimed.

Konan turned, facing the loli pop. "Did you really fib to me?"

"Figs? Mm, I love figs!"

"Grrr.. you men are fools."

Said Akatsuki men watched their only female member stomp her way out of the kitchen.

"Thank Jashin! She's finally gone!"

Deidara walked over to Tobi. "That was quite a diversion you used there, un."

"Diversion? What diversion?"

"Oh my gawd.."

"God? What the hell type of god are you speaking of? It's mother fucking Jashin to you!"

"I need some sake.."

"To hell with sake! What you need is to get a hangover off of Jashin!"

"Quit preaching. Your messing up my ear drums."

Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara stopped talking. Until another voice ruined it.

"Tobi farted!"

"Ew..."

...

_**Meanwhile..**_

A flash of maroon eyes stood high amongst the trees. "Have you spotted the blossom?" Questioned the eyes.

Two animals stood by them selves. One a rabbit, the other a red panda. While up in the trees settled on a branch, was a white owl with yellow piercing eyes. The rabbit's color couldn't be traced as it stood it's ground against the red eyed monster.

"Yes sir. We have located the cherry. Last time we checked, she was staying in her house."

"Interesting.. I thought she would be cooking or sweeping the floor."

"Naw, I don't the cherry does such a thing."

"Umm.. who's the cherry?" Interrupted the red panda, very meekly indeed.

The shadow ignores her and looks towards the trees. "Yukimaru, did you track down the Kyuubi's living conditions?"

"Why yes I did. He's sound asleep in his house as of now till tomorrow."

"Keep an eye on him for a couple more weeks. Including the blossom."

"Righty-o, master!" Exclaimed Akayume.

"Tch, I wouldn't be relying on them if I were you. They don't exactly follow any directions." Suggested the rabbit.

"Neither do you..runt of the litter."

Akayume giggled while Yukimaru smirked.

Usagi felt bothered and picked on. But he held it inside. "I apologize master. Shall we go back now and finish the job?"

"Go ahead. Just remember, if you run away one of us will come after you."

All the rabbit could do was shudder at the thought of being diced like tofu by the Samehada. His friend put her paw to his shoulder, aiding him with her quick comforting skill. Both animals watched their master leave in black feathers.

"Hmm, he's acting a little strange tonight.." Spoke a confused panda.

"Maybe it's a full moon and he's gonna turn into a wereweasel." Joked the snow owl.

"Ah! Really? Our master is a supernatural force?" Asked the naive Akayume.

Usagi gives her the evil eye. "Hell no. Now let's go, we have a mission to complete.."

Mr. Cotton turns away, walking down the forest with his friends beside him into the moon light..

..

**A/N:** It's been a while since I typed this much. Or has it? It's not that a difficult task to do though, just go on a couple days adding some words here and there, and then there you go; a 4,000+ chapter! Again, I would like to thank you all for reviewing and figuring out who the summons belonged to.

Now would you do me a favor and review again? Reasons why is because I want to know if my oc animals took over the story. Or if the plot is going well, then it's perhaps maybe too stale for your tastes. I want to know what you think of it so far. Thanks for reading, see you soon.. ^^

Quick bio:

Usagi , Usagi-same, Mr. Cotton, or just plain Usagi-chan: Cocky egotistical relying black rabbit. Hates to lose. Thinks of Akayume as an annoying specimen and dislikes the owl and wolf. He adores dango just like his master, Itachi. Has a secret fond behavior for Sakura but never shows it.

Akayume: A red panda. Very excitable, naive, and loyal; all wrapped up in one! She likes to hang out with her two boys; Yukimaru and Usagi.

Yukimaru: Snow owl. Sharp rivarly with Usagi. Somewhat brother sister relationship with Akayume

Yuki: Sakura's beloved wolf that Pein ripped away from it's mother about a couple years ago. **(Can't remember the specific age. Sorry)**

**End notes:** Thank you for taking the time to reading this author's not, including the bio. This is for you people who are confused as to why the animals are needed in the story. If your still confused, then I am too cause I don't know what to do with them! D: I'll update again either the reminder of month or in June.


	9. I'm back!

Aheeem. Yo, Silent here! Seems ages? I doubt anyone even visits my stories any more.

Even more skeptical when reviews are submitted in with the older portions. Including one that has the term "Lolz. I'm anonymous! you can't do nuthin." Written all over it. Their goal is to run around early morning hours to complain about my immaturity.

Not like I'm complaining though. My defense involving nice calm actions is always higher since there's no point in trying to tame the "I'm right, you are wrong." beast/troller.

But lemme mention this: It was a year and three months ago.

I should feel special though. The person **really** took time out of their early rising schedule to drop a review on my behalf. On second thought, what if they stayed up all night? No clue. Which is none of my business. (Now I regret voicing my critical moment.)

At first I thought trolls existed to flame a story they don't approve of. Obviously, it's more than that.

So from now on I will speak of the positives! Like my Japanese self-taught lessons. : D

Oh wow, I spell checked this and only found three errors.

Signed,

Shizukana Ookami

_Added: 12/17/12_


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